Don't You Remember
by Svart Jasmin
Summary: One day, 4 years ago, Eric returns home from a business trip to find his long-term girlfriend packed and gone from their apartment. What happens when he runs into her 4 years later, at the least expected place? AH (ON HIATUS)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Eric POV**

I sit in my best friend's apartment, watching our closest friends acting like the clowns they are, drinking and making fools of themselves like there was no tomorrow.

Alcide, my best friend of 20+ years, is getting married tomorrow, and as I sip on my second beer of the evening, I can't help but think how I should be in his place.

I should be the one laughing like a loon a night before my wedding, if not already married by now. However, the only person I actually considered taking that huge step with decided one day to pack and leave, without as much as a note telling me what happened.

Even though I don't think about Lexie as much as I did for a year and a half after she left, my heart still breaks whenever she comes to mind just like it did the minute I realized she was gone.

"Let's go to a strip club!" Jason's voice breaks my thoughts, and I can't help but let out a small chuckle at him.

"Dude! I plan to live long enough to get married!" Alcide says from across the room, though I know him well enough to know that's exactly what he wants to do.

"What your woman doesn't know won't hurt her." Jason says with a small shrug.

"Bitches, if we are going, we better go someplace with fine men!" Lafayette, our openly gay friend, says as he downs the rest of his beer. "I ain't sitting around a bunch of women shaking their boobs and asses for you to get off and for me to end up with blue balls!"

"Eric, you game?" Jason asks, making me look at Alcide, who is obviously waiting for my guidance.

"I'm game, as long as Alcide doesn't get any private lap dances." I say and get up to my feet. "And we don't speak about it ever after tonight, or Debbie will serve our balls at the reception tomorrow."

"To hell with it!" Alcide says and finishes his own beer. "You only live once, right?"

"Right!" Jason says, his excitement showing as his eyes begin to shine. You would think the man had a dick for brains by the way he always sought to get laid. And the funny thing is, he always did! Jason was the type of man who could charm his way into getting laid in Covent.

"What about Bill?" Alcide asks as we make our way to the door, receiving groans from all of us. "C'mon guys. I've known him for years, and he said he was joining us later tonight."

"That doesn't mean he's not the most boring man on the face of the Earth!" Jason says, not bothering to hide his feelings about Bill.

"With a permanent stick up his ass." Lafayette adds as he digs out his keys, which I snatch from his hand, earning a deadly look from his heavily made-up eyes.

"I'll be driving. I only had 2 beers. You guys and go wild." I say, making Lafayette's face break into a huge grin before smacking a sloppy kiss on my face.

"You sure I can't convince you to switch sides?" he asks as we leave the apartment and head to Lafayette's JEEP. "You're too hot to be straight."

"I'm sure." I only say before turning to look at Jason. "Ok, dickhead. Where are we going?"

"There's this place my friend told me about. It's called _Wild Things_." Jason says, and we all raise our eyebrows at the clichéd name. "She says it's great."

"She?" Lafayette asks, his ears perking up.

"Yup. You get to have your fun Lala!"

"Oooh boy! Lala sure needs some TLC."

"I'm gonna give Bill a call and tell him to meet us there." Alcide says as we all pile in the car, receiving another groan from all of us. "Dudes! Just shut the fuck up about it already! It's my bachelor's party, and I get to say who comes and who doesn't!"

"I don't think Bill is gonna be doing any coming even if his life depended on it." I say, throwing a wink at Lafayette, who sometimes appears to be the only one who gets my perverted sense of humor.

"Tall, blonde, and a sick sense of humor." Lafayette says with a snicker. "You sure you don't have a gay twin brother lurking around in a dark corner somewhere?"

"I'm sure." I say and fire up the engine. As I take directions from Jason on where to go, I keep an eye on Alcide as he talks to Bill through the rearview mirror, and then raise my eyebrow at him questioningly when I see him frowning after her hangs up.

"Everything OK, Al?"

"Yeah, all is good." He says as he shoves his phone in his pocket. "Bill is out."

"That man wouldn't know fun even if it were sucking on his dick." Jason says as he bounces on his seat like a 10-year-old kid. "I still don't get how you lived with him for 3 years in college!"

"My other option had bailed out on me!" Alcide says, throwing me a dirty look, making my brows frown in annoyance.

It has been almost 8 years since I moved out of the dorm room I shared with Alcide to move in with Lexie, and til this day, he hasn't forgiven me for that.

The fact that Lexie left me a few years after that didn't help matters at all.

Alcide and I met when I was 5 years old, when my father moved us here after my mother passed away. I was a small boy who had just lost his mother and uprooted from the only place he called home, and Alcide was there to pick up the pieces. Even though he's a few months younger than I am, he was more of an older brother to me, having lost his father when he was only 1 year old, and knowing what it meant to grow up without a parent.

I remember the first time I saw him at school like it was yesterday. It was my first day, and there was a kid who was a year older than I was, who was making fun of me because I wouldn't play. Instead, I was sitting on a bench crying because I was missing my mom. Suddenly, I hear this voice yelling at the older kid, and before I realized what was going on, the two kids where screaming at each other until the teacher had to pull them apart.

That other kid was Alcide. The rest, as they say, is history.

"Bitches, this place looks fi-ine!" Lafayette say as I stop the car in front of the flashing neon lights. I had to admit, the front of the place did look fine, not like the trashy strip clubs I had recently become acquainted with.

You see, a few months after Lexie left, when I realized that she doesn't want to be contacted or found, I went through a self-destruction phase of drinking myself into numbness and picking up a different girl every night. Well, at least the nights I was sober enough to leave the house and pick up a girl. When I finally admitted to myself that no matter how many girls I fuck, none of them would compare to Lexie, and that I was screwing around as a futile way to hurt her, which only served to hurt me more than I was already hurt, I picked up the habit of going to strip clubs. For me back then, the fact that I could get off without having to touch whoever was giving me my lap-dance of the night, meant that I didn't have to compare notes between my designated entertainment and Lexie.

Of course, when I think about it now, I realize just how stupid I was and that whatever I was doing was flat out nuts, but back then, nothing made sense to me.

One day, I was happily in love with the woman who, to this day, I'm sure is my soul mate and the love of my life.

I woke up the next day to find my life shattered to pieces and that woman out of my life.

Since that didn't make any sense to me, or anyone else for that matter, I didn't care if nothing else did.

"Eric, you coming?"

Alcide's voice brings me back to the now, and I realize that the valet is standing next to the car waiting for me to get out.

"Yeah." I say as I leave the car and join my friends who are talking to the bouncer at the main door. A few minutes later, we are being escorted inside the club, and suddenly we're surrounded by the craziness of flashing lights and deafening music.

The club was really unlike any I have been to. It has two main stages with tables and booths surrounding both. I assumed the two stages were for the male vs. female strippers, but I couldn't say for sure. Across the whole club floor were high tables with poles, with men and women dancing on each one, serving as the 'light' entertainment until the big show began.

Feeling right at home, Jason rubs his hands together and motions for us to follow him, which we willingly do, until he leads us to a table that was right in the middle between the two stages. We all are confident enough about ourselves and our lives, that watching male strippers doesn't bother us. We had done it before for Lala's 21st birthday, and it has become a tradition for all of his birthdays since.

As soon as we sit down, we're approached by a waitress who I guess was only wearing a thong, though her entire body is covered with glow-in-dark body paint, making her look like a glowing stick.

"What can I get you, gentlemen?" she purrs as she leans her elbows on our table, making it easier for us to look at her painted boobs.

"4 beers and 4 patron gold shots." Jason says, knowing what our usual 'start-of-the-night' drink is. He pulled out a 20 from his walled and stuck it through her thong's strings. "Keep checkin' on us, huh babe?"

"You got it, Hun!" the waitress purrs again to Jason before sashaying her way away from us. She returns less than 5 minutes later with our drinks.

"Here you go, guys." She says as she places each drink in front of us. "Enjoy the show."

As soon as the waitress walks away, we all reach for our tequila shots and raise our glasses.

"To Alcide, may the worst days of your future be the best days of your past." I recite our trademark toast before we click glasses and down the burning liquid in one gulp.

For the next half hour, we talk, we laugh, we watch the girls on the poles, and we drink. At one point, we receive a bottle of vodka from a man sitting on the other side of the male stage, and as soon as Lafayette catches the man's eye, he moves to join him at his table. Soon after that, Jason decides that it was time for his lap dance, since it was obvious that the show wouldn't be starting for another 15 minutes, leaving Alcide and I alone.

"Is this where I tell you that I have an escape plan in place if you choose not to go to the wedding tomorrow?" I ask, receiving a raised eyebrow and a smile from Alcide.

"I guess so." He says and sips on his beer.

"Well, I'm sorry buddy. That's not gonna happen." I say and rest back in my chair. "It's only fair that one of us finds a woman brave enough to make an honest man outta him."

"You'll be in my shoes before you even know it, so stop bitching about it." Al says with a shit-eating smirk. He's gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow, and Debbie is going to kill me for it.

"Nah. I'm happy where I am." I say with a small smile, trying to hide how I really feel about it.

"I call bullshit, Northman." Alcide says, making the smile fall off my face in a second. Whenever Alcide calls me by my last name, it means shit just got serious. "It's been 4 years already. You're lucky that your fuck it and dump it phase didn't up with a stray kid or two, or an STD for that matter! A girl pulled your heart out, chopped it up, stomped all over it, and then drove over the remains with a 16 wheeler. So. Fucking. What? Get over it already! There are plenty of fish in the sea, man! Just cause one girl was a bitch and didn't care about the 7 years you spent together doesn't mean that they all are bitches!"

I sit in stunned silence watching Alcide as he down the remaining half of his beer in one gulp. In the 4 years since Lexie left, he had never been anything but supportive. I lost count of the number of times he picked up my drunken ass from bars or played the role of the evil roommate who kicked out my numerous one-night stands. However, this is the first time he has actually said anything about it, about me moving on.

"We're not her to talk about that, Al." I say once I'm over my shock, receiving a deadly glare from my best friend. "We're here to enjoy your last night as a single man!"

Right at that second, Jason decides to return, saving me from what I was sure was another whiplashing from Alcide.

"The show is about to start." Jason says as he filled his seat next to me. "What did I miss?" he asks once he sees the way Alcide is glaring at me.

"I was just telling Northman here that it's time he gets his head out of his ass and starts looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with."

"Oh." Jason says, fully knowing that the topic of Lexie and I was always a sensitive issue; so sensitive that we never talk about it anymore.

"Al, we'll talk about this when you get back from your honeymoon." I say and cross my arms across my chest. I know my best friend, and unless I give him my word that we will actually talk about it, he won't drop it until he has said everything he has to say. "The minute you get back. You and I. My place. Beer and pizza. We'll talk about everything."

Alcide looks at me intently, and then nods in agreement, knowing that I would make it happen even if my life depended on it.

Before Jason gets the chance to say anything else, the lights dim down, and the music changes into an up-beat song. From the corner of my eye, I see Lafayette engaged in a heated make-out session with the mysterious Vodka guy, and I can't help but smile. Although Lala is flamboyant in his own way, and a huge flirt that he doesn't let _any_ guy pass without throwing a comment or two, it takes a lot of effort for anyone to actually get physical with him.

I can't help but compare both he and Jason, just as I always do in times like these. At a first glance, one would think that Jason was a one-woman-man, until he starts talking that is, but I'm thinking about appearances here. He doesn't look anything like the man-whore that he is. Lala, on the other hand, looks like he gets enough ass each day to last him a lifetime. In truth, Lala takes the physical aspects of his relationships rather seriously. He actually, until this day and age, follows the 5th date rule, and he insists that said 5 dates happen over a period of 5 weeks!

"Oh shit!" I hear Alcide hiss under his breath, snapping me out of my trance yet again tonight. The way his face has lost its color makes me think that Debbie has found us and I start looking around frantically. "We need to get out of here."

"What? The show just started!" Jason says, not taking his eyes off of the stage, which I yet have to look at as I'm searching for the reason behind Alcide's panic.

"What's up man? Is Debbie here?" I ask. I'm not ashamed to say that my voice actually took a scared tone. Debbie's one scary woman and I'm man enough to admit that she does scare me.

"No." Alcide says as he gets to his feet. "We need to leave, Eric. Now!"

"Fuck!" Jason now swears and gets up to his own feet. "Al's right. We need to get out of here."

"What the fuck?" I ask, now totally confused. Jason has the same horrified look Alcide has, and before I get to ask another question, Lafayette is standing in front of me.

"Eric, let's go." He says; his tone dead serious. "Trust me, you want to leave."

Without even thinking about what I was doing, or why I was doing it, I look at the stage. All the color drains from my face and the air is knocked out of my lungs. For a split second, the only thing I can think about is that I'm glad I'm sitting down, because if I wasn't, my legs would've given away by now.

Because right there on the stage, swaying her body in front of the tens of people enjoying the strip show, was Lexie.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Eric POV**

I can't believe my eyes. I shake my head, trying to will the image playing before me to disappear, but when I focus back on the stage, Lexie is still up there, dancing to the encouraging yells of the horny men watching.

_My Lexie._

My blood begins to boil, and a noise that I don't recognize as my own erupts from deep in my guts.

Is this what she left me for? To become a fucking stripper?

I feel myself rise to my feet, but before I could make a step towards the stage, Alcide, Jason, and Lafayette are grabbing at my arms and shoulders, holding me back.

"Eric, snap out of it!" I hear Alcide hiss in my ear. "Let's get out of here."

"I need to talk to her."

"Not now." Lafayette says, holding a deathly grip on my arm.

I try to shrug away from their grip, but despite the crazy amount of liquor they've consumed, they manage to hold me in my place.

"Eric, security is approaching. You're not crazy enough to think you can get up on that stage, are you?" Jason tries to reason with me. "We'll come back later and you'll talk to her all you want."

"I'm not leaving without talking to her." I say as I stand firm in my place, but not trying to lose their hold on me. "You guys can leave if you want."

My eyes haven't left the stage since I realized that she was on it, not once looking at my friend who I was sure looked like they have seen a ghost.

Maybe they have. I wouldn't be sure until I spoke to her.

"Let's go wait for her out back." Lafayette says as he tugs gently on my arm. "We can't watch this, Eric."

"Why not?" I ask, and I can feel the venom dripping in my voice. "She's the one who's putting herself on display. Might as well enjoy the show, guys. I speak from experience."

"What the fuck, Eric?" Alcide hisses at me, trying to stand in front of me, but I gently push him away, my eyes now fixed on Lexie's bare chest. I feel my whole body stiffen at the familiar sight, and I struggle to ignore it, but my traitorous body refuses to respond, and I feel myself getting hard at the view before me.

"Eric, what the fuck are you doing?" Jason asks as he tries to take Alcide's place, but I push him a little bit harder than I did Alcide, making him hit the table and rattle the bottles on it. "Fuck you, Northman!" Jason says through gritted teeth before walking away from us.

"Eric, get up and walk out with us." Alcide says, his voice now taking the authoritarian tone I got used to while growing up.

"Alcide, either sit your ass down or walk away."

"Let's go, Al." I hear Lafayette say from behind me. "We'll wait for him outside."

I'm left alone at the table now, and having been distracted by my friends, I realize that Lexie's segment is ending as the music and lights begin to change. I quickly motion to the waitress at the edge of the stage, and as soon as she approaches, I whisper my request into her ear and slip two 100$ bills into her hand, silently telling her that I won't be taking 'no' for an answer.

The next few minutes were a blur, and for the life of me, I couldn't tell if they were two or twenty, but next thing I know, I'm approached by the floor manager, who has a timid smile on his face.

"Good evening, sir." The manager, whose nametag says 'Ted', says as soon as he's within earshot of me. "Your waitress has informed me of your request, but I'm afraid Cherry cannot be of service for you at this moment."

_Cherry? Seriously, Lexie?_

"Name your price." I say without bothering to look up at him, and instead I busy myself with my cell phone.

"Excuse me?" Ted asked, his eyebrows shooting into this hairline.

"I said, name your price." I say, finally looking up at him and giving him my most disinterested look; one which I had mastered during my countless trips to strip clubs.

_Huh! Ironic. _The thought comes to me just then, but I quickly push it to the darkest corner of my head. I need to focus on what I will be doing once I'm in a room alone with Lexie.

"Um, I'm afraid money is not of relevance here, sir." Ted says and takes a quick gulp, one I clearly see by the movement of his Adam's apple. "Cherry has just finished a main segment; one which you have enjoyed, sir." He says and pauses, apparently waiting for some sort of reaction from me. "Girls who go on stage do not give private sessions. I can arrange for another one of our girls to be your entertainment for tonight."

"I'd like to speak to your manager." I say, my voice deprived on any type of emotion, as I look back at my cell phone.

"Right away, sir." Ted says before he scurries away from me. I take a deep breath without looking up from my device, trying to keep myself calm even though I can tell that I'm stepping dangerously close to a nervous breakdown.

Another unknown number of minutes pass by without me being aware of any of my surroundings. Instead, I flip through Lexie's photos that I had kept on my cellphone in a ghost folder that no one could access but me. I feel my heart ripping as her shining eyes stare back at me through the screen, and for the millionth time since I walked into our apartment and found that she was gone, I wonder what I had done wrong.

A soft cough grabs my attention, and I look up to see a man dressed in an elegant suit standing next to me.

"I understand you wanted to speak to me, sir?"

I nod at the man before reaching for my wallet. I pull out my checkbook and write a check for a 1000$, before signing it and handing it to the manager. I tell him my request again, and without saying another word, look back at my cell phone.

I'm vaguely aware of him walking away from me while he obviously scolded Ted. My lips twitch in a hint of a smile at having achieved the desired intimidating persona. Being a lawyer; intimidation was part of the job, but until this very minute, I have not had to use it outside of an interrogation room or a courtroom.

As I go back to the pictures on my phone, my mind can't help but go back to the day my life flipped over its axis.

_Flashback_

"_Honey! I'm home!" I call as I walk into our apartment. We have been living together since we finished our first year of college, only because our school had a compulsory on-campus living condition for the first year. _

_I had been away at retreat for my firm over the weekend, and unfortunately, we had been staying at a resort up in the mountains where cell reception was crappy! I only managed to get through to Lexie when I first arrived there Friday afternoon._

_I smiled at how excited she was about the girls' weekend she had planned once my retreat was confirmed. She had been working too hard for the past few months that I had barely seen any of her, but I knew that if I had asked her to join me for the retreat, she would end up being bored to death by all the legal talk. _

"_Lexie?" I call out again when I didn't hear her reply or come into the living room, and as soon as I drop my keys and wallet at the small table by the door, I realize something isn't right._

_Our photo that was by the small blue bowl on the table is gone. _

_My heart sinks as I walk into the living room and find it spotless, indicating that Lexie hadn't been here since the cleaning service came by on Saturday morning. _

_Now it's Monday night, and nothing had been moved from its spot._

_My shaking legs quickly take me to our bedroom, and as soon as I grab the door of our joined walk-in closet, I know what I'm going to find. _

_The masochist in me opens the door, and I sink to my knees when I find none of her clothes in there. I chance a quick look around the room, hoping to find anything that would change what I know is true, but everything that has and relevance to her is gone. _

_Even the god-forsaken ugly quilt I hate so much is gone from our bed. _

_I never missed that quilt as I did right then. _

_I don't know how much time I spend on the floor, feeling nothing but numbness, wondering where I had gone wrong or what I could have done to make her leave. _

_I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone and call her, only to have her reject my call, or worse yet, reject me. _

_Instead, I called my best friend, and for the first time since my mother passed away, I cried. _

"Excuse me, sir?"

I look up from the picture I was staring at as I remembered that forsaken day, and I raise a questioning eyebrow at the manager who had come back with a smile on his face.

"If you would come with me, I have arranged for your private session."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Eric POV**

As the manager escorts me to the back area of the club, my mind reels with a million different scenario. I wonder what her reaction would be when she sees me, and I'm surprised to find myself hoping that she would cry and apologize.

I'm shocked to find myself willing to forgive her right here and now!

I shake my head as the manager steps to the side of a private room and opens the door before motioning for me to enter.

"Enjoy the rest of your evening, sir. You will find complementary chilled champagne in there." The manager says with a curt nod, which I promptly return. "Please know that the usual rules do not apply here tonight, sir. Call out should you need anything else."

I raise my eyebrow at him, not able to hide my surprise at his last statement, which he so casually mentioned.

_Usual rules do not apply!_

I couldn't help but smile. The usual rules would definitely not apply when you look the way I do, and you're crazy enough to pay 1000$ for a lap dance.

I'm not arrogant, but I'm confident enough about my looks and body that I know the reaction I get is never faked. At 6"4, I tower over almost everyone I know, except Alcide. My blonde hair and blue eyes, which I had gotten from my half-Swedish mother, add to the Viking look I go for most of the time. I work out whenever I can, meaning actual work out at the gym, not the horizontal workout that Jason seems to be solely dependent on. My body is toned, with my muscles almost perfectly shaped.

I've always enjoyed employing my good looks for ulterior motives, but tonight, I find myself feeling sick at what is about to take place in this small space.

I take a seat on the plush sofa at the far end of the small room, and I quickly reach for the bottle of champagne. I down a class, then another, before I allow myself to actually think about the fact that in a few minutes, I will be seeing Lexie face-to-face for the first time in 4 years.

I take a deep breath and lean back on the couch when I hear a clicking of high-heels approaching, and when I take a quick look at my surroundings, my heart freezes, and all hints of compassion that I might have had for her in the previous minutes disappear.

"Hello there, handsome." I hear her call from the door, her voice soft and sexy, and I feel a chill run up my spine.

Not the good kind of chill.

Right then and there, I make a split second decision to stay silent. I knew that the light arrangement around the spot I'm sitting at wouldn't allow her to see my face unless she comes very close to the couch, and until that happens; I decide to keep her on the edge.

"Someone's acting mysterious tonight, I see." She purrs as she takes slow steps into the room, and I can't help but wonder how she's managing on the crazy high heels she's wearing.

She was always one for flats, and if those were not suitable, she would go for the minimum height allowed for heels.

Right now, she's standing on what appears to be at least 6-inch red stilettos. I drag my eyes from her feet up her legs, and feel my blood boil as I see more leg than fabric. She's wearing a red sheer baby-doll that ends at the top of her thighs. I can see her thong through the material of that so-called-dress, and her perfect breasts are held up by a red lace bra.

_She's a stripper now, you idiot! You're at a strip club! You're supposed to see more flesh than fabric! _

"I hope you don't mind, but I have a very specific taste in music." She says before she pulls a very small remote from her cleavage, and presses the play button, filling the room with music too familiar for my own taste.

_Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me!_

I find my anger rising with every note that fills the room, and as she begins to sway her hips to the music in that all too familiar way, I can't help but force my eyes shut.

I can't look at her. Not like this. Not here. Not while she's dancing to _this_ song.

_How can she do this? Did I mean so little to her? Did our memories and our time together mean nothing to her?_

_Nine Inch Nails' Closer_ was the song she danced to when she gave me my first lap dance ever. Ever since that mind blowing night, she had dubbed it 'our song'.

Now, it's apparently our song, as well as that of countless other men who had had the privilege of enjoying her astounding dancing skills.

I open my eyes as bitterness and anger fill me, and I see that she still has her back to me. Her hips move slowly like a snake as she starts to move around the room, and I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees and bringing my face into the light.

"Do you have any special requests, Hun?" she asks, and I remain silent, not wanting to let my identity be known yet. Her slim fingers move to her shoulders and begin to slide down the straps of her dress. When I don't answer, she lets out a small chuckle, one that takes me back years in time, and I hold myself back from snapping at her.

"It seems like a cat got your tongue, handsome." She purrs again at me as she lets the dress fall slowly down her body, and bends her body down with it, giving me a perfect view of her ass.

Once she stands up straight and steps out of the small fabric that now pooled at the floor, she turns around to face me.

Her hands immediately go to her mouth to cover the loud gasp that escaped as she shakes her head furiously at me.

"No!" she whispers, but I still hear her over the music. She has danced for me so many times while playing this particular song that I had learned to tune it out and focus on what she says. "This can't be happening!"

"Why are you stopping?" I ask, surprising both her and myself. The amount of bitterness, anger, and even hate I'm feeling threatens to suffocate me, and for the first time since she left, I find that I want to hurt her just like she hurt me.

"Wh- what?" she asks, desperately trying to fight the tears that I can see glistening her eyes.

"I paid a thousand bucks for this lap dance." I say and lean back into the couch, keeping my legs spread open. "I expect to get my money's worth."

"Eri…" She begins but I hold my hand up, silencing her with the small gesture.

"Go on, _Cherry_." I say, her stage name falling off my lips like poison. "I don't have all night."

She stands in her place for a few seconds, just looking at me, and for the first time in my life, I can't read her. I have always been able to read her like an open book.

I guess 4 years apart changes that, doesn't it?

I take a deep breath as I see her start to swaying to the music again, and she starts taking deliberate steps towards me.

I try to stay in my place, but like a moth to a flame, my body is still drawn to hers as if it was our first time making love. I lean forward again, but this time, as soon as she is within arm's reach, I grab her by the waist and pull her to me.

I swear I could see sparks flying as our flesh touched.

"You're not supposed to be touching me." She said attempting to move away but not trying too hard.

"A thousand bucks can get you anywhere." I say in a clipped tone and drop my hands from her waist. As soon as I lose her touch, I feel my fingers burning. It's as if not a single day has gone by, and my body still craves hers.

She doesn't say anything. Instead, she keeps moving while she keeps her feet fixed in place between my opened legs. I lay all the way back on the couch, and I have to fist the upholstery so that I stop myself from reaching out for her. A few seconds that seem like hours pass before she reaches back to the clasp of her bra, and as she unhooks it, she closes her eyes, as if hiding away.

"Look at me." I order, my voice full of command, making her shake her head as she drops the lace material to the floor. "I said look at me!" I say again, my voice taking an angry tone. "Open your eyes, you coward! You don't get to hide! Open your eyes and see what you do to me!"

"Eric, please." She whimpers, her voice barely audible, as she stops moving and silent tears fall down her face. Tears that I have to struggle not to wipe away with my hands. "Please, don't do this."

Hearing her call my name again after all these years makes every last bit of self-control evaporate from my body, and I don't recognize my own voice when I yell: "Open them!"

She finally obliges, but the tears don't stop. I lock eyes with her as she takes a small step back, running her hands from my shoulders down my chest. She grazes her fingernails against my nipples and I can't stop the hiss that leaves my lips.

She still knows the right buttons to push.

She continues to trail her hands down my body until she reaches my knees, and slowly, ever so slowly, she pulls my legs close before she straddles me. All the air leaves my lungs as she pushes herself down at me. I can feel her heat through the double fabric of my pants and her almost non-existent thong, making me throw my head back and dig my nails into the couch.

_I will not touch her! I will not give her the satisfaction!_

When I feel her shift her weight to rest on her knees and thighs, I chance a look at her, and I find her still looking at me with tears streaming down her face. Our eyes lock again as she raises her arms above her head, making her breasts perk to perfection, and she begins to rub herself against my now aching erection.

I knew the look on her face all too well. Her hooded eyes. Biting on her lips. Her heavy breathing. All the signs I never forgot about.

All the signs that always managed to bring me closer to my own release.

I knew I was entitled to get off. To have her get me off, and deny her her own release. But one look on her flushed face and I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't let her know she still had that power over me.

In one swift movement, I grab her waist and get up on my feet before I throw her on the couch none too gently. I see her bounce off it, and for a split second I'm worried that I hurt her.

Only for a split second.

I can still feel her eyes on me as I grab my wallet out of my back pocket and pull out a couple of bills.

"I'll be back same time the day after tomorrow." I say and carelessly throw the money at her without even as much as looking at her face, which I'm sure is a mixture of pain and embarrassment. "Use this to buy something new. Also, make sure it's not red." I say and finally look up at her, only to find her looking back at me, barely able to hold back her sobs. "I hate red."

With that I turn around and walk towards the door. Once I have my hand on the handle, I pause to take a calming breath.

"Oh, and _Cherry_?" I call, stressing out the name I have become to loathe in such a short amount of time. "Make sure you change your choice of music next time."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: thank you all those who chose my story as a favorite to follow, and took the time to review my first 3 chapters! Like I said in my profile description, I'm not a fan of 'Sookeh'! Therefore, we have Lexie here… **

**Also, please remember that I'm not American. I have absolutely zero knowledge of the educational and foster systems in the US. If there are any mistakes, please feel free to let me know about them.**

**Chapter 4**

**Lexie POV**

I don't know how long Eric has been gone for, but I am yet to find the strength to get off the couch and leave the room. Thankfully, no one has come to check on me yet. Not that they would, mind you, but I'm just too shell-shocked to be able to think full thoughts, let alone articulate full sentences yet.

I finally muster up enough energy to get on my feet as a shiver runs down my spine. I'm getting cold sitting here in nothing but my barely existing thong, and I'm guessing it's time for me to head home.

A tear manages to slip through my eye at the thought of _home_. I really shouldn't call the place I live in 'home', because I haven't felt at home since the day I walked out on Eric.

I have finally convinced myself to stop thinking about the what-ifs a year and a half ago, after those very what-ifs almost cost me my life.

I let out a loud sigh as I make my way back to my changing room. I'm the only performer in this club who has a private changing room. Why, you ask? Because according to Russel, I'm his most treasured girl. I bring in the big money, as Eric so generously demonstrated tonight. People ask for me by name, and Russel has gone to the extent of putting certain people on a black list for my services for getting frisky once or twice.

No other girl enjoys such a treatment, and to this day I still wonder, _why me?_

I have come to work for Russel around the same time I stopped wondering about the what-ifs. He had found me on a cold night in a dark alley, with a heroine needle still stuck to my left arm, and an empty bottle of cheap vodka in my right hand. He had his bodyguard pick me up, and he took me to a hotel where he had me cleaned, fed, and rested, before he checked me into rehab the following day to kick both habits.

When I had asked him about why he saved me, his answer was always simple.

"_I saw a business opportunity and I took it."_

For me, it's just as simple. He saved my life, so I had to pay him back. Regardless of the darkest 2 years I went through before Russel found me, I was never one to live on charity. Given the fact that I was homeless and out of a job when I got out of rehab, working for him was the only solution. I had insisted on knowing how much it had cost him to get me cleaned up and back on track, and once I saw the figure, I weighed my options.

I was a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. That alone meant that jobs were impossible to find, even if you were a university graduate with a journalism/publishing degree.

So it came down to either getting 2 or even 3 minimum-wage jobs, and having to work 20 hrs/day for God-knows-how-long before I was able to fully pay him back, or working for him here, 4 nights a week, with a large check getting in at the end of each night, with the ability to split it between paying back my debt and living comfortably.

You would've made the same choice if you were in my shoes, especially if you had gone through what I had to endure.

I make my way to the small bathroom in my room to take a shower, needing to wash away the shame and loathing that was the only result of Eric's shocking visit. The bathroom steams up in seconds, and I step under the almost scalding water. As soon as the spray hits my strangely cold skin, tears start streaming down my face. Sobs shake my body as I remember Eric's hands on my skin long minutes ago, and I find my hands making their way to the spot he touched last, trying to hold to the memory of him being there.

Even when I know he was only feeling hate and disgust when he touched me.

No matter how much time had passed, I can still read him like an open book.

As the water starts to get cold, I realize that I've spent at least 40 minutes in here, and I quickly make my way out. My mind is still reeling about the events of tonight, and I'm still trying to figure out the answer for a very simple question.

_Why now?_

I get dressed in a pair of jeans and a baggy sweat-shirt, and make my way out of the club, waving goodbye to the cleaning crew who were moving around like ants. I don't really know how I got to my apartment, but I do know that my mind hasn't stopped thinking about Eric.

I met Eric when I was 16 years old. I had just moved into my 9th foster home in 3 years, and until then, I was an above-average trouble maker teenager that every foster parent I had met couldn't wait until they were rid of me. I had done everything that made a parent's worst nightmare read. I drank, smoked weed, skipped school, slept around, and even went to the extent of trying hard drugs more than once. Then Eric came into my life, and he saved me from me without even knowing.

I still remember the day I met him like it was yesterday.

_Flashback_

_A loud groan leaves my lungs as I walk up to the school gate. It's my first day here, and for the first time in 3 years, I actually feel nervous about it. I've moved between 8 foster homes and 5 schools in the past 3 years that I know I shouldn't be nervous about anything. God knows I won't last more than 3 months here! _

_Jessica, my current foster 'mom' seems like a nice lady; much better than all the others, but not enough to make me stop the lifestyle I enjoy more than anything. _

_I dart my eyes around the busy yard, looking for the all-too-obvious rejects. My kind of people. I find a few kids who can't be more than 14 or 15 standing away, dressing in full black and wearing too much makeup for my liking. No those! Those are usually the one asking for attention. _

_Well, I'm not asking for any kind of attention. _

_I let out a sigh, giving up my search for now, as I make my way inside the school, and I raise a questioning eyebrow at no one in particular at the lack of metal detector at the door. _

_I was told when I moved here that this was a safe neighborhood, and a safe city as a whole. That wasn't gonna hold me back. I always managed to find what I usually look for no matter where I was. _

_I keep my eyes to the floor as I walk down the busy school hallways. I was told to check in at the principal's office, where I will be given my schedule and assigned a 'guide' to help my find my way around. Once I reach the main administration office, I give my name to the assistant who tells me to take a seat and wait for five minutes. _

_I look around me, and I can't help but be surprised that everyone is smiling. Everyone! What can they be smiling about? I haven't found a reason to smile for years, except for getting a drink or finding a fix, and I highly doubt that any of the people around me are drunk or high at this time of day. _

_The assistant calls my name and shows me inside the principal's office, where I find a man who I would assume is in his mid 50s sitting behind a desk, talking to someone whose back I was facing. _

"_Ah! Miss Jackson." Principle Northman says as he stands up and walks towards me. He extends his hand to me, and I'm momentarily shocked at the warm welcome. Hasn't he heard about me? "Welcome to Westborough High. I hope you're settling in OK."_

"_Uh, yes." I say as I shake his hand quickly before I snatch mine back and shove it into my jeans front pocket. "Jessica told me that I should check in with you."_

"_Ah, yes!" he said with a huge grin, making me wonder if his face is hurting from too much smiling. "I have your schedule right here." _

_I watch him walk back to his desk, never paying attention to the other person in the room. He reaches for a slip of paper and holds it out for me, making me step towards his desk and take it. _

"_I'm sure you'll enjoy your time here. I took the liberty of enrolling you with the school paper. Ms. Thornton told me that you're quite the writer."_

_Ms. Thornton. My case worker. She's probably the only one who has faith in me, and for the past 3 years, I have only managed to prove that I'm not worth the effort. _

_Not that I give a shit about what she thinks. I only have two more years in the system, then I'll be on my own and I won't have to answer to anybody. _

"_Ok. I guess." I say, looking over my schedule. It has the usual classes, nothing different of any other school I attended. _

"_Eric here will help you out for your first week. Please feel free to ask him anything you want, and if he, for any reason, can't help you out, he'll bring you back here." Mr. Northman says, making me look at the guy he pointed at. _

_My jaw immediately hits the floor. _

_I don't think I've ever seen any person as good looking as him, and I've seen many. He's so tall that I have to crane my neck in order to see his face. Or maybe I'm the one who's too short. His blonde hair is held back in a messy ponytail, with a few strands falling over his face that I crave to run my fingers through. He's looking at me with eyes so blue that I can easily mistake them for the ocean, and for a split second, I feel like he can see right through me. _

"_Um, hi." I say, my voice almost coming out in a squeak, making him smile and raise one eyebrow at me. _

"_Hi. I'm Eric." He says and gives me a quick wink. "I hope you like it here so far."_

"_Ah, yes." I say, trying to fight the sudden blush that crept to my face. "So far, so good."_

"_Well, we better head out." He says and reaches for his backpack that was resting on the floor. "Homeroom starts in 5 minutes."_

"_Stop by before you head home, Eric." Mr. Moller says as we make our way out of his office, and I can't help but wonder if it's because he wants a report on my first day. _

"_Sure." Eric says before he opens the door and step to the side. "Ladies first."_

_I can't help but snort at his gesture. Lady! I'm anything but!_

"_So, are you gonna tell me your name or should I just keep calling you Ms. Jackson?" Eric asks as we walk down the hallway to what I assume is homeroom. _

"_He didn't tell you my name?" I raise an eyebrow at him, silently calling bullshit. _

"_He did, but since I introduced myself, it's only fair that you do the same." He says with a small shrug. _

_Technically speaking, Mr. Northman introduced him, but I wasn't going to point that out now. There's plenty of time for him to hate me. _

"_My name is Alexandria, but everyone calls me Alex." _

"_Alex? That's a boy's name." he says and raises that eyebrow again. Damn, I want to lick it! "How about I call you Lexie?"_

_I look at him for the longest time, wondering if he's genuinely that nice or if he's being so because he was tasked with being my guide. _

"_Whatever." I say with a shrug of my own._

"_Well, Lexie. Here's homeroom." He says and I realize that we've been standing in front of an opened door for the last couple of minutes. "I'll meet you here after. We have English together."_

_With that, he walks away, and I can't help the smile that dons my lips. _

_An honest smile that I haven't experienced in years._

_End flashback_

My hands shake as I open my closet and reach for the box hiding in the back. The one box I had managed to keep safe throughout the entire time I was slowly destroying myself.

The box that holds everything Eric.

I remove the lid slowly. I haven't opened it in over 9 months, since I only open it when I'm hit with a craving for a drink or a fix.

This box is my sobriety, and if I ever happen to lose it, I know I'll lose myself with it.

I flip through the different photos I have. Photos of us from our first date all the way to a week before I left, some with Alcide and the rest of his friends. Even photos of us after making love, in various forms of undress.

I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as I came across my earliest photo during the Eric era. Alcide took it on my first day there; the day I met him and Eric for the first time, when I found out that he was the principal's son.

The look on my face was a mixture of shock and annoyance. I had learned earlier in the day that Eric was one of the best students, and I remember feeling annoyed that I was stuck with a nerd.

When I learned of Eric's parentage, I couldn't help but feel annoyed that I was stuck with a nerd _and_ a snitch.

He proved me wrong on both counts a few days later, when the three of us met at the abandoned warehouse and smoked our first joint together.

"_I may be the principal's son, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun!" _

I still laugh when I remember what he said that day. We were so high that we laughed for hours at his stupid rhyme.

The three of us became inseparable after that day. Until I packed my things, and left.

I feel my heart break more as I run my fingers over the contents of the box, and I quickly decide that I've had enough for the day. Eric had given me everything; his love, his support, his protection. He shared everything with me, even his darkest and dirtiest secrets.

And I still managed to break his heart every time he asked me about my past, and I refused to answer.

To this day, Eric doesn't know how I ended up in the system. He knows my parents are dead, he just doesn't know that my mother killed my father before putting a bullet through her head.

And he sure as hell doesn't know that she had it all planned so that I would be there and see it all.

My parents had been happily married for 4 years before I came into the picture. They were, just like Eric and I were, high school sweethearts. I remember my mother telling me during one of her drunken days that he was the best man she had ever met. He loved her unconditionally. Protected her with everything he had.

Until she got pregnant.

For the 13 years I lived with them, they made sure I knew how they felt about me. How much they hated me! My father never wanted children, and he constantly told my mother that. I wasn't supposed to be, but apparently the powers that are, decided that I should.

She once told me that she used to love me; that she loved me before she even met me, and that she refused the abortion my father dragged her to, because she was hoping that once he saw me, he would love me as well.

He didn't, and she hated me for it.

I don't know when she started drinking, but I don't remember seeing her sober.

Ever.

I was 7 years old when she told me about the first time he beat her. At the time, I didn't really understand what she was saying. The words 'forced miscarriage' and 'abortion' meant so little to me, that I thought she had mistaken me with one of her friends like she often did when she was drunk.

He was arrested after that first time. He once told me that he didn't mind going to jail because he thought my mom had lost me that night. He was locked away for two years, mom having had the sense to press charges even though she was literally obsessed with him. So when he got out and found that I wasn't lost, and that I was very much alive, he begged and groveled for my mom to take him back.

She thought he had redeemed himself in jail; that he regretted what he did and that he wouldn't do it again.

She was stupid. She took him back; only to have him beat her around again, and me by extension when beating her didn't bring her any satisfaction.

Both of them made sure that I knew how they felt about me. Whether it was the beating, the swearing, or the simple words _"I hate you! I wish you were stillborn!"_, I always knew my parents never loved me.

That's why I fell in love with Eric hard and fast, because he was actually the first person to ever love me.

And now, he hates me as much as my parents did.

**A/N: I know this chapter is longer than usual, and the rest of Lexie's story will follow in the much-shorter chapter 5. I thought about combining them in one big chapter, but opted against it because I thought it would be too long. Hope you're enjoying things so far. Don't forget to review! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Here's the second part of Lexie's story. Lots of hurt in this one, so be prepared.**

**Chapter 5**

**Lexie POV**

_Flashback_

_It's my 13__th__ birthday today, and I've been awake for two hours, just lying in bed. I really don't want to get up and deal with my parents. Things have been unusually quiet for the last couple of weeks, which made me nervous. I'm used to all the beating and swearing and yelling. Quiet, not so much. _

_I glance at the clock beside my bed, and I know I can't hide her any longer. I have to get dressed and go to school. I'm tempted to skip today just for the hell of it, but I don't know what I'll do. I sure as hell won't sit around the house waiting for one of them to remember that they hadn't had a fight in two weeks. _

_I make my way out of my room 30 minutes later, ready to grab an apple and leave. Only, my mother has other plans. She tells me to sit at the kitchen table and have breakfast with her and Dad. _

_My shock at the fact that my mom had actually made breakfast is too strong that I take a seat without saying a word. She places a plate in front of me; omelets and bacon. I furrow my brows, wondering if I had walked right into the twilight zone. My dad is busy eating, and I watch my mom as she moves around the kitchen. I hold my fork and move my food around, not believing what is happening. _

_I should've known something was wrong. _

_The morning light reflecting off something shiny catches my eyes, and I look up. My fork slips through my fingers at the sight of my mother holding a gun against the back of my father's head. He's still not looking up, and I'm too terrified to say anything. I can't even warn him before my mom pulls the trigger, and his head falls face-first into whatever was remaining of his breakfast. _

_I'm paralyzed in my place, my eyes never leaving my mom. I watch her as she looks down at my dad's body, his brain now scattered all over the kitchen table. She cocks her head to the side, as if admiring her work, and then she looks up at me. For a second, I'm wondering if she's going to kill me as well, but instead, she holds the gun against her temple, her eyes locked on mine. _

"_It's all your fault." She says before pulling the trigger. _

_End flashback_

I never celebrated my birthday again.

I never spoke about that day with anyone, except for the therapist I was forced to deal with at rehab. Dr. Claudine Crane had relentlessly drilled me about my past, and when I finally spoke about that morning, she was shocked into silence.

She was furious about me not seeing someone after it happened, which was something I hadn't given too much thought about. I just assumed that since I was too much trouble for each foster home I was living in, the system didn't bother enough to have me go through therapy.

To them, I was a lost cause before turning 14.

Eric always wondered why I didn't celebrate my birthday, and when I never gave him an answer, I think he just assumed it was because of not having my parents around.

Sometimes I wonder how he never saw how broken I am. Maybe he did see it, but decided that I was worth the effort nonetheless.

The 7 years I spent with him were the best of my life. Until I met him, I was a girl on a path of self-destruction. I never cared about tomorrow, only living in the now. I did everything I was not allowed to do, that's why I kept bouncing between foster homes. They could never tolerate me for more than 3 months at a time.

Except for Jessica, who I lived with until I left to college. She was good to me, but she's not the one who takes the credit for the change in my behavior. Eric does.

He changed me. He made me want to become a better person, so that I could be the girlfriend he deserved. I stopped drinking, and doing drugs. I only partied with him and Alcide, never taking things too far like I used to. I stopped sleeping around, even before he asked me out. I was always a smart kid, but I never paid attention to school after the ordeal with my parents. But as I spent more time with Eric, studying became a rather enjoyable part of my day.

Probably because we almost always studied together.

My grades began to improve the first month I lived with Jessica, and as proud as she was when that happened, she couldn't have been more proud than the day I received my scholarship.

For 7 years, Eric was my therapy, but the trauma still lingered within. He was the best thing that happened to me, but I was always terrified that he would wake up one day, and decide that he was done.

I was terrified that he would be like my dad, but I managed to hide my fears just like I hid every secret about my past.

But every person has skeletons in their closets that eventually suffer from claustrophobia and demand to be let out. For me, I managed to suffocate my skeletons, and push them deeper into my closet; never giving them the chance to see light.

Until one day Eric decided to talk about our future, and my skeletons almost broke down my closet door.

_Flashback_

_I'm trying to catch my breath, my chest heaving up and down against Eric's, as we lay in a tangle of limbs after having what can only be described as mind-blowing sex. _

_It's our 6__th__ year anniversary, and like every year, he gave me a night to remember. _

"_Do you ever think about the future?" he asks, his voice bringing me down from the high I'm enjoying. _

"_What do you mean?" I ask as I put my hands on his stone-hard chest and rest my chin on them so I can see him clearly. _

"_I mean us." He says and looks down at me, with an almost shy smile on his face. "Where do you see us 2 or 3 years from now?"_

"_Hopefully still like this." I say with a wink, making him give out a laugh that sends shivers down my body. I feel his fingers trailing imaginary lines across my back, and I can't help but close my eyes and lose myself in the sensation. _

"_When you think about our future, is your last name still Jackson or is it Northman?"_

_My eyes snap open at his question, and my I'm sure my face is a mixture of fear and shock. _

"_I'm not asking you to marry me now, Lexie." Eric says, seeing right through me like he always does. "All I'm saying is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I hope that you feel the same."_

"_I do feel the same." I say, my voice coming a little too weak for conviction. "I just don't know how I feel about marriage."_

_Eric smiles at me, giving me the usual smile when he knows what I'm talking about has to do with my past. The past I'm not willing to share with him. _

"_I'm hoping I'll be able to change your mind about that by the time I actually propose." _

_I give him a weak smile before looking away, and before I can stop myself, my mouth takes a life of its own, and blurts out the question I had vowed to never ask him. _

"_What about children?"_

_The laugh he gives me makes me look at him, and I'm momentarily lost in his eyes that I almost don't hear his answer. _

_Almost._

"_Now that's something I'm not sure how I feel about." He says as he runs his fingers through my hair. "I know for a fact that I'm not ready to be a father any time soon, but maybe some time later along the way."_

_I don't know how I managed to hide my reaction as every memory of my mother telling me about my father rushes into my brain. Having parents who hate you has the magical ability to make you not want to have kids of your own, but hearing him say those words make me feel like I'm about to walk into my worst nightmare. _

_End flashback_

A shiver runs down my spine as I remember that night. The words he said back then are still engraved in my memory, and even now, after countless hours of therapy with Claudine, I know that even if I had gone through therapy after the disaster that was my parents, I would still hear him say that he didn't want kids, even when he never said the exact words.

That's why when a positive looked back at me from the 5 home-pregnancy tests I took the day Eric went to his retreat; I knew I had to pack my bags and leave.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I would like to let out a very loud shout-out for my friend **_**zinatf**_** for being the awesomeness that she is! She has been a great, wonderful, amazing person with her reviews and ideas! I was stuck there for a second until she came in and suggested Eric employs his male ego to work! This chapter goes out to her! **

**Chapter 6**

**Eric POV**

"Baby, someone's at the door."

_What the fuck?_

I struggle to open my eyes, and when I finally manage to, I see a pair of bloodshot green eyes looking back at me with a look of anticipation in them, which quickly disappears and is replaced by annoyance when I look back at her with confusion.

"What the fuck are you?" I ask as I quickly get out of bed, too quickly for my own liking and I let out a groan of frustration as my headache pounds in my skull.

"I'm Stacey." The girl-in-my-bed says as she sits there, holding the bed sheets to her chest to cover her nakedness.

"I'd say nice to meet you, but I don't remember meeting you at all." I say as I reach for my pants and put them on. The pounding in my head continues, until I realize that it's actually someone pounding at my front door. I leave my bedroom without looking back at my bed and stumble my way to the front door.

_What the fuck happened last night?_

I remember leaving the strip club last night and finding the guys waiting for me by the car. I remember getting in the car with them, and Lafayette driving us to the closest bar.

Last thing I remember is ordering a double scotch neat.

"Jesus Christ! Hold your pants for a fucking minute, will you?" I yell as the pounding on the door continues. "What the fuck do you want?" I snap as I yank the door open, only to be met with someone who I haven't seen in months staring daggers at me, with her arms crossed over her chest.

Pam.

"Such a nice way to greet your favorite one-night-stand!" She huffs and pushes past me to get inside the apartment.

I shake my head as I close my door and follow her inside, fully knowing why she was here.

"Who called you?" I ask. She wasn't supposed to come back to town for another few weeks, and for her to drop everything and come to see me, means that one of the guys called her after last night's ordeal.

"Lafayette and Jason, last night." She says and makes her way straight to the coffee maker. "And Alcide this morning. You're gonna be late for the wedding if you don't start to get ready."

"I'm getting ready at Alcide's." I say and take a quick look at the digital clock blinking on my microwave. It was still 10 in the morning; I have two hours before having to be at Alcide's.

"Baby, come back to bed! It's still too early!" Stacey whines from my bedroom, making Pam look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Seriously, Eric?" she asks and puts down the coffee mug she was holding.

"Don't start." I say and start towards the bedroom, but she reaches for my arm and stops me.

"Please, let me." She says and heads there. I follow her, just because I've missed her snark and sarcasm. We both walk into the bedroom and find the girl, who I just realized is a redhead, lying on her stomach, feeling too much at home.

"Who's this?" she asks and points at Pam.

"I'm the one who's kicking you out." Pam says and reaches for what I assume are the girl's clothes before throwing them at her. "Seriously Eric, next time try to pick someone with a better dye job. Your roots are showing, cupcake."

"What the fuck?" Stacey asks and turns to look at me, obviously waiting for me to defend her.

"Sweetie, he's not gonna call you. Look at him, he's sex-on-a-stick. A Viking god walking the Earth. You should thank your lucky stars for having enjoyed a night with him. Though, maybe you shouldn't. He's too good and you probably won't enjoy another dick after having had his." Pam says and stands at the foot of the bed, with her arms crossed over her chest, and tapping her foot impatiently. "Well? What are you waiting for, sugar? Get dressed and get out."

"Is she your wife?" she asks me, and I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Who I am is none of your business. Now, are you gonna get dressed or will I have to kick you out in your birthday suit?" Pam asks, and the look on her face tells Stacey just how serious she is.

"Fuck you!" she says and gets out of bed, obviously not caring about being naked in front of us. As she gets dressed, I can't help but inwardly wince at what I see. She is nothing like my type. Too skinny that you can actually see her hipbones, and too tall, almost as tall as I am.

"You know where the door is." Pam says as she grabs my arm and pulls me out of the room. I can't help but chuckle at her behavior, not that I would have told Stacey anything different before kicking her out, but hearing it from Pam sounds a whole lot better.

I had met Pam while I was fucking my way through the city, trying to get Lexie out of my system. I remember seeing her at a club I frequented with the guys, and it's like something clicked when we started talking.

And that's what we did all night. We talked.

Everyone else thinks we slept together, and when we hung out after that night, they thought that Pam was the one who would replace Lexie. But I have the wrong anatomy for Pam's liking. She always tells me that if I ever decide to get a gender reassignment operation, she would be all over me in seconds.

She became the first girl that I could call my friend. Other than Lexie, of course.

"So.. The prodigal girlfriend returns, huh?"

"How much do you know?"

"Not much." Pam says as she pours us two cups of coffee. I sit at my kitchen table and take a long sip of my coffee, waiting for her to elaborate more. "Lala and Jason were freaking out when they called me last night. You were still inside the club and they didn't know what you were going to do. I take it by the fact that you're here and not in jail that you didn't kill her."

I don't say anything and just raise my eyebrow at her.

"Alcide called me this morning because he was worried you won't make it to the wedding in time. That's why I'm here at this God forsaken hour."

"It's only 10 a.m."

"And I don't usually get out of bed before noon! I was enjoying my time in Paris, Eric! That means that I didn't get any sleep before I got here." she says and reaches for my hand. "But it's ok. No one dragged me here against my will. I'm here because I want to be here."

"Thank you." I say and gently squeeze her hand.

"Want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about?" I ask with a shrug. "My girlfriend of 7 years left me to become a stripper."

"And here I thought you were a smart one." She says and slaps her hand on her forehead. "What was I thinking? You can't be that smart when you're friends with Jason!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask as I lean back in my chair. "I walk into a strip club with my friends, and she's on the stage! She's the fucking main act, Pam! What am I supposed to think?"

"You're supposed to think about what drove her to do that, you idiot!" Pam snaps and smacks me upside the head, making my hangover ring inside my skull. "Look, I've never met Lexie. I don't know her, but I know you, and I know that you wouldn't fall in love with someone who would just drop everything to become a stripper just for the sake of it. God knows Alcide talks about her like she's some sort of saint!"

"Alcide hates her!"

"He hates her for what she did to you!" Pam says and smacks me upside the head again. "She was his best friend. He lost her, not the same way you did, but he lost her as well! He beats constantly beats himself for not seeing that something was wrong!"

When I don't respond to that, she lets out a frustrated sigh and moves to smack me yet again, but I move to the side so quickly that I almost fall off my chair.

"Listen, I didn't give up fashion week in Paris to watch you sink into depression again! It took you forever to get out of the last phase as it is. So, you're gonna tell me exactly what happened last night at the club, and we'll take it from there." She says and I see her glance at the clock. "You have exactly one and half hour to talk before I drag your ass into the shower and drive you over to Alcide's."

And that's what I do. For 90 minutes, I talk. I tell Pam everything. Every single detail of what had happened the night before until the minute I remembered nothing after.

I tell her how I've been thinking more and more about Lexie as Alcide's wedding date approached. I tell her what I have not tell anyone ever before, that I still loved Lexie with everything that I was.

I tell of how I felt when I set eyes on her on stage; that despite how much I hated her at that second, I felt my heart beat for the first time in four years. I tell her how I wanted to insult Lexie, how I wanted to demean her, how I wanted to treat her like trash.

I tell her how I did everything I wanted!

I had insulted her, and demeaned her, and treated her like trash, and while I was watching her, I didn't care about how she would feel.

I did care once I stepped foot outside the club, and I quickly left so that I wouldn't go back inside, and take her in my arms, asking for her forgiveness, when she should be the one begging for mine.

"You really are an asshole, aren't you?" Pam asks once I'm done, making me look at her like she had grown a second head. "You see her for the first time in four years, and instead of asking why she left, you do _that_?"

Again, Pam has left me speechless. I could've demanded an explanation as soon as she stepped into the private room, but I had let my pain and anger consume me.

"I told her that I'll be back tomorrow." I say and look down at my now cold cup of coffee.

"Like fuck you will!" Pam now snaps, her anger evident for the first time since she walked in the apartment this morning.

"Why not?"

"Because until you know what had driven her away, you will not approach her!"

"And how exactly do you suggest I do that if I don't talk to her?" I ask, my anger getting the better of me as my voice raises in tone.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" She swears and runs her fingers through her perfectly made-up hair. "You really are an idiot, aren't you?"

"Listen, Pam! I'm tired and hung-over, so unless you're gonna stop talking in fucking riddles, I'm gonna go get ready!" I say and move to stand up. "Alcide and Debbie will both serve my balls if I'm late."

"You're a freaking lawyer, Eric! One of the best lawyers in town. You're friends with cops and detectives!" Pam says and pushes me towards my bedroom, obviously not done talking yet and still not wanting me to be late. "I don't even want to think about why you didn't use your job and your friends to you advantage when she first left!"

I freeze in my place for a split second before going inside my bedroom. I reach for my towel and fresh pair of boxers before heading towards the bathroom, but I stop as Pam is standing in my way.

"What do you want, Pam?"

"You've had her investigated before, haven't you?" She asked, raising a questioning eyebrow at me.

"No, I haven't." I say, trying to hide my annoyance at the fact that even though I've only known her for a little over 3 years, she still can see right through me.

We would've been perfect for each other if she wasn't a lesbian.

"Northman?"

"I haven't done it!" I say and step around her to go to the bathroom. "Doesn't mean that I didn't think about it!"

"And why, for the sake of everything holy, haven't you done it?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Pam." I say and reach for the bathroom door, but she simply stands in my way. "Get out of my way, Pamela."

"Stop it with the full names, Eric, and just tell me why you haven't done it!"

"Because I was terrified of what I could find, OK?" I snap, finally allowing my 4 years-worth of pent up frustration out. "It was obvious that she didn't want to be found when she left! She had quit her job, a job that she loved too much, might I add, and left. She left me, after 7 years! I shared everything with her! I gave her everything I had, and still, she left. It wasn't enough. _I_ wasn't enough! So yes, I was terrified of finding what had finally been enough for her to leave me for!"

"And you didn't think that she might've gotten herself in some sort of trouble, and that she might've needed help?"

"She didn't come to me for help, now did she?"

"Maybe she was too afraid!"

"I don't fucking care!" I yell, my voice booming through the house. "If she had actually been in trouble, she should've trusted me enough to ask me for help! If she had found someone else, she should've had enough courage to face me, and not leave in the middle of the night like I meant nothing to her! She was my everything, Pam, and she knew it! She knew damn well what she meant to me. She knew exactly what her presence in my life did to me. And yet, she left! She didn't care about how I felt, or about what would happen to me. So frankly, I didn't care about what happened to her!"

"You lying son of a bitch." Pam says, shaking her head at me and letting out a bitter laugh. "You did care back then, and you care now. You just let your bruised ego stand in your way. You think you're too macho to be left, to be dumped. Well, news flash, dickhead, you're not! No woman in this world becomes a stripper unless it's her last fucking resort! Do you think any woman out there would enjoy being objectified the way strippers are? Whatever drove her into taking that job must've been fucking _huge_! And you, Mr. Don't Give a Fuck, could've prevented it. Let that sink in while you take your shower."

She walks out of the room, leaving me standing in my place with my mouth hanging open.

How the fuck didn't I think of that?

How the hell was I stupid to think that she _wanted_ to become a stripper?

How fucking egotistical am I?

I don't know how much time passes with me fixed to my place, but after mentally going through my conversation with Pam for a million times, I quickly reach for my phone that was lying on the bedside table.

I go through my contacts list a couple of times, no really focusing on it as my brain is running a million miles/second and my hands are shaking that the phone falls from my hands.

Pam was right.

I could've prevented this. There were a million things I could've done, but I did none!

Instead, I decided to drown in self-pity for years.

For years, I blamed her, when I should've blamed no one but myself!

I finally find the number I'm looking for, and before allowing myself to second guess my decision, I dial.

"Hello?" a voice I haven't heard in almost a year says from the other end of the line, and I can't find it in myself to bother with pleasantries.

"Godric, I need a favor."

**A/N: So… Here you have it… Eric is finally gonna take some action, all thanks to Pam! **

**Let me know what you think below! Love you all! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Eric POV**

I don't know how I got through the wedding. I seriously don't.

All I know is that I miraculously got to Alcide's on time. We got ready, and I believe that for the first time in the history of man-kind, the groom was telling the best man to relax, not the other way around.

It was all a blur of movements and activity. The preparations, the ceremony, the reception. I can't for the life of me remember one single detail, and I know that Alcide is going to kill me for not being 100% focused on his wedding.

Well, maybe he won't, when he finds out what I did.

I had met Godric when I was working on my first case ever. He was part of the investigation, having been an officer for a little less than a year. We instantly became friends.

Now, he's a narcotics detective, and he didn't hesitate at all when I asked for his help earlier this morning.

The chance never came for me to introduce him to Lexie, but he had heard about her, simply because I never shut up about her when we were still together. He once told me that he envied me; that he wished he could find the type of love Lexie and I shared.

I'm sure he doesn't envy me now.

When Lexie left and I commenced operation _Self-Destruction_, Godric tried to run an intervention for me, which ended with him having a black eye and me with a broken hand.

We didn't speak after that for 6 months, until we crossed paths working on a case again. Our friendship took a while to return to the way it was, but he never asked about Lexie again.

Until I mentioned her on the phone this morning.

I told him everything I knew about her, which, to my horror, turned out to be too little. A fact that only managed to add to the guilt that was now consuming me.

When I first met Lexie, I knew that she lived in a foster home, and that her parents were both dead. I never knew how they died. Whenever I tried to ask her about them, she would shut down, and I eventually gave up.

When I think about it now, I realized that I didn't question her about her past because I had her in my present.

Now, I regret every second I gave in to her! I should've pressured her more. I'm a lawyer for crying out loud! I live on getting information from people. I shouldn't have treated her any differently than I treat any witness in court. I should've been ruthless with her.

But I didn't, and now it's come back to bite me in the ass.

Godric said that it might take him a while to gather any kind of information. Foster care records were not easily broken into. The fact that I knew where she now works helps, but only a little.

So here I am, watching people dancing and laughing, and I can only think of Lexie.

"You need to stop thinking and enjoy your time."

I look to my side and find Alcide standing there, with Jason and Lafayette, each holding a glass of champagne.

"Shouldn't you be dancing with your wife?" I ask and take a sip of my own drink.

"She's dancing with her brother."

"What happened last night, man?" Jason asks, receiving deathly glares from Alcide and Lafayette. "What?" he asks with a shrug. "You all want to know. Don't try to deny it!"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Eric, I'm not gonna sit around and watch you destroy yourself again." Alcide now says. "Did you talk to her?"

"No."

"Then what the fuck were you doing there for an hour?"

"I had her give me a lap dance."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Lafayette swears, his eyes seconds from bulging from his head. "Are you fucking insane?"

"I didn't know what I was doing, ok?" I say and throw my hands up in defeat. "I was angry. I wasn't thinking straight."

"Damn right you weren't!" Jason says and smacks me upside the head, making me glare at him.

Did I have a sign that said _"smack me"_ stuck to the back of my head?

"What are you going to do now?" Alcide asks, obviously not wanting to give me a whiplash about my actions last night, at least for now.

"I have a plan." I say and down the rest of my drink. "By the way, thanks for calling Pam."

"Well, she's the only one who can put some sense into you." Lafayette says with a snicker. "I'm guessing she did, didn't she?"

"Yes." I say with a sigh, and begin to tell them about my talk with Pam earlier in the day. The three of them agree with what Pam said wholeheartedly, and it makes me ask them why they never suggested a bit of digging around.

"Are you fucking shitting me, Northman?" Lafayette asks. "You were a wreck! For two years, we walked on eggshells around you! We never knew when you would snap, or break down. Being your friend was an emotional rollercoaster, and frankly, we just wanted you to get over her."

"I never got over her." I mumble under my breath, making all three of them sigh.

"We know that, man." Jason says. "Last night proved that."

"Listen, Eric." Alcide says before he places his hand on my shoulder. "Lexie was my friend as well. Her leaving broke a part me, but it was her decision. You are my best friend; you're the brother I never had. Seeing you broken the way you were killed me. I hated her for what she did, and I chose you. I could've pushed you to do something, but I didn't, because I didn't know what would come out of it. I couldn't risk you being more hurt than you already were."

"I know." I say with a small nod. "I asked Godric to dig out on her past. Maybe I'll have a clearer picture once I know a bit more."

"When are you seeing her again?" Jason asks, knowing me well to know that seeing her was a matter of _when_ not _if_.

"I don't know." I say with another shrug. "Pam suggested that I wait until I have all the information I need, but now that I know where she is, I don't think I can."

Just then, I see Janice, Alcide's sister coming our way, and we quickly stop talking about Lexie. None of us want to mention that we've seen her, because her leaving, as much as it hurt me, hurt everyone who loved her, and we didn't want to give anyone hope of her returning.

"My brother, the married man!" Janice says before she wraps her arms around Alcide. "I can't believe you've done it."

"You make me sound like a commitment phobic!" Alcide says but still pulls his sister close to him.

"You are, but you're more afraid of Debbie." She says, making us all laugh. When she breaks away from her brother's arms, she turns to me with a smile on her face. "Dance with me?"

I can't help but smile and nod, before taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor. A slow song is playing, and I wrap my arm around her waist before pulling her to me and start swaying with the music.

"Careful, or my husband might get jealous." She says as she looks up at me. She's a good 6 inches shorter than me, and even with her heels, she still has to look up to meet my eyes.

I let out a hearty laugh at her assumption. When I moved into town right after my mother died, and I met Alcide, Janice became my older sister by default. She was 7 years older than us, and taking care of me and her brother was something that came naturally to her.

"I'd like to see him do something about this." I say before I place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"How are you?" she asks, her eyes taking a look of concern.

"I'm ok."

"Want to talk about it?"

I raise an eyebrow at her. Was I that transparent that everyone could tell something was wrong with me?

"Maybe later."

"You know where to find me." She says and rests her head on my shoulder, effectively ending the conversation. As we sway with the music, my mind doesn't stop thinking about how protective Janice was of me, and how she wanted to hunt Lexie down for hurting me.

And as soon as I think of Lexie, my mind chooses that moment to think back to the first time I asked her out.

_Flashback_

_I sit on the hood of my car waiting for Lexie. I told her I would drive her home today, even though I knew she would be late because she had to do some work on an article for the school paper. _

_I'm tapping my fingers nervously on my knees as I go over my plan. I knew I liked her the second I set eyes on her in my dad's office a few months ago, but I didn't want to ask her out too soon because I knew she needed some time to get used to her new life. _

_I was also afraid that she would turn me down, and things would become awkward between us. _

_That chance still stands, but I had learned early in life that I should seize the day, and live life to the fullest. Life was just too short. _

_She has become a great friend to Alcide and me, but I wanted more. I wanted to be her boyfriend. I wanted to spend time alone with her. _

_I just wanted more. _

_I see her as she walks out of the school's main door, and a growl leaves my lungs as I watch her give the guy she was working with a hug. I think his name is Brian or something, and he's been helping Lexie out with her work at the paper. I know for a fact that he doesn't like her, because he's gay, but I still don't want anyone touching her but me. _

_She stands at the top of the stairs, obviously looking for me, and I can't help but stare at how beautiful she is. I remember thinking she was really short when I first met her; standing at 5'2" next to my 6'4" figure, but as time went by, I realized that her height is ideal for her to fit perfectly in my arms. _

_Her brown hair fell in perfect natural waves to the middle of her back. I loved that she rarely pulled it up, and I've had to stop myself more than once before running my fingers through it. _

_Her hazel eyes shone every time she smiled or laughed, and even when I could still see a tremendous amount of sadness in them, I loved looking deep into them. I had vowed the first time they shone with her smile that I would do everything in my power to keep her happy, just to keep her eyes shining. _

_By our school standards, Lexie was anything but slim. I didn't give a rat's ass. She wasn't fat, far from it. She had natural curves that begged to be touched. Her body was that of a beautiful woman. She wasn't skin and bone like most of the girls around here were, which only showed how confident she was of her figure._

_I notice that she's looking at me, and I can't decipher the look on her face. I immediately become more nervous and I watch her walk towards me, thinking maybe this isn't such a great idea, but as her smile becomes more apparent, I push all negative thoughts out of my head and smile as I jump off my car. _

"_You really didn't have to wait for me, Eric." She says as she stands in front of me, looking up to catch my eye._

"_I wanted to." I say as I reach to take her bag. "Want to grab something to eat before I take you home?"_

"_Umm…" _

"_You can say no, you know?" I say with a smile. I can't help but smile at her hesitance. _

"_It's not that I don't want to. It's just that Jessica is making chicken fried steak, and I don't want to disappoint her."_

_Ah… Her favorite. _

_When my dad first told me that I would be assisting the new student, he warned me that she's gonna be handful. That she had a reputation for being a trouble maker. _

_I still have to see that side of Lexie. She sometimes loses her temper, showing just how feisty she is, but for the life of me, I can't believe that this angle can bring anyone any kind of trouble. _

"_It's ok." I say and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Our eyes lock for a brief moment, and I have to force myself to look away before I kiss her. "I have something for you." I say as I walk to open the door for her. I help her inside the car, and once I'm sure she's buckled in, I move to my side. _

"_Really? What is it?" she asks, obviously excited about the prospect of a surprise. _

"_This." I say and lean to the back seat and pull out the box that was resting there. I place it in her lap before I start the car and drive out of the parking lot. _

_With the corner of my eye, I watch her as she removes the lid of the box, and her mouth falls at what she sees. _

"_What is this, Eric?"_

"_What do you think it is?"_

"_This is a dress!" she says and runs her fingers over the soft fabric. "Why would you get me a dress?"_

"_So you wear it when you go to the dance with me next week." I say as if stating the obvious, my voice so calm that one wouldn't believe how fast my heart was beating. _

"_Excuse me?" she asks and looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"_

_I take a quick glance in the rearview mirror, and when I see that the road is clear, I signal to the right before stopping the car. _

"_What are you doing, Eric?" she asks still giving me that raised eye brow. _

_I turn to the side to look at her before I take her hand in mine, and I gently place a soft kiss on it. _

"_I like you, Lexie." I say after a few seconds of silence, during which I mustered up the courage to say what I've wanted to tell her for a while. "I've liked you since the day I saw you in my dad's office. I love the friendship we have, but I don't want us to be just friends. So, would you go to the dance with me?"_

_Lexie stares at me for the longest time, and I'm afraid I have ruined things. She doesn't like me that way, I knew it, and now she's gonna say no and things will be awkward between us. _

_Then she suddenly smiles and looks at our joined hands as a soft blush colors her beautiful face. _

"_I like you too." She says without looking at me. "I'd love to go to the dance with you."_

_End flashback_

"Earth to Eric." Janice's voice snaps me out of my memories, and I look down at her to find her brows furrowed.

"Sorry, were you saying something?" I ask having completely lost track of my surroundings.

"You're thinking about her, aren't you?" Janice asks as a look of anger flashes through her eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"You had that look on your face." She says and takes a step away from me before she crosses her arms over her chest. "The same look you have whenever you think of her or remember her."

"Janice…" I begin with a sigh, not trying to deny it. Why should I when it's so obvious?

"You have to let her go, Eric. She's no good to you!"

"Janice, Terry is looking for you." Alcide, who now suddenly appeared by our side, says, making me give him a thankful look.

Janice shoots both of us a deathly glare before she huffs and walks away from us. Alcide and I walk away from the dance floor back to the main table where the bridal party is setting, and as soon as I take my seat, I pull my phone out to check for any kind of news from Godric.

"Anything?" Alcide asking, keeping a close eye on me.

"No." I say with a sigh and put my phone back in my pocket. "Godric said that it's gonna take a few days before he gets back to me. I don't know why I'm checking my phone anyway."

"Listen…" Alcide begin, and pauses as he looks around us, as if wanting to make sure that no one was within earshot. "I didn't want to say anything, simply because I didn't think too much of it at the time. But with everything that's been going on, I think you should know."

"Know what?" I ask, my body going stiff. "What are you talking about, Al?"

"I think Bill knows something."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Two chapters in one day! Warning: Lemons! **

**Chapter 8**

**Eric POV**

It's been 5 days since I saw Lexie, and I still haven't heard a word from Godric. I tried calling him a few times, but I always ended up getting his voice mail.

I haven't gone back to the club after that night, taking Pam's advice. I did, however, drive by it more than once, but ended up stopping myself from going inside at the last minute.

I saw Pam again a couple of nights ago, and we talked like we always did. When I told her that I wanted to go back and see her, she asked me one question.

_What do you want out of all of this? Do you want her back, or do you just want closure?_

I stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, and for the life of me, I couldn't bring myself to say that I only wanted closure.

God help me, I want her back.

That's why I employed my PA to get me her address, and that's why I'm sitting on the top of the stairs in front of her apartment, waiting for her to come home.

I really don't know what I'm going to say, or what I'm going to do. I just know that I need to be here, that I need to talk to her.

I tap my foot against the floor and look at the bottle of scotch I brought with me. Maybe I should open it and start drinking; I sure as hell could use the liquid courage!

Suddenly, a smile splits my lips, as I once again, remember one of the milestones of our relationship, a time when I was waiting for her feeling just as nervous as I'm feeling now.

_Flashback_

_I stand nervously at the bottom of the stair at Jessica's house, waiting for Lexie to come down. I'm fidgeting with my tie, not sure if it's properly made or not, and run my fingers through my hair. _

"_Relax, Eric." Jessica says from the kitchen. "You look find."_

"_Thanks." I mumble, not really believing her. _

_Janice is getting married toady, and I was here to pick Lexie up to go to the ceremony. _

_But that wasn't what I was nervous about. _

_Lexie and I have been dating for almost a year now, and we have both decided that we were ready to take the next step in our relationship. _

_I booked us a room at the hotel the reception is being held at, and although neither of us were virgins, I knew we were both nervous about tonight. _

_My train of thought is cut when I hear a soft cough from the top of the stairs, and I swear to God, I feel my heart skip a beat or two. _

_There she is, looking more beautiful than I ever thought was possible. She's wearing a stunning off the shoulder red dress that hugs her figure perfectly. It's not too tight, but it's not too loose either. It's just perfect. _

_She has most of her hair up in a complicated do, while a few curls fall at the back of her neck. _

_I have to remind myself to breathe as she makes her way down the stairs, and as soon as she reaches the last one, I take a step towards her and pull her into my arms. _

"_You look breathtaking." I whisper into her ear before placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. _

"_And you look stunning." She says while looking up at me. I place a quick kiss on his lips, not wanting to mess up her perfectly made lips, before I direct her towards the door with my hand on the small of her back. _

_We make our way to my car, and I can't stop smiling. _

_Throughout the whole wedding, I can't stop looking at her. Regardless of what we will be doing later tonight, I can't stop looking at her and thinking how much I love her. _

_I still haven't told her that, but I plan on doing it soon. _

_Probably the tonight kind of soon. _

"_Is everything ready for tonight?" Alcide asks as he comes to stand beside me. I've been standing in this spot for the last 20 minutes, just keeping and eyes on Lexie as she talks with some of her friends, and I can't help but smile wider as I see her laugh at something the girl in blue must have said. _

"_Yeah." I say without taking my eyes off of her. "Thanks for your help, by the way."_

"_Don't mention it." Alcide says and looks at Lexie as well. He had helped me out in arranging things for tonight, and without him, I know I would've messed it up. _

"_What time are you heading upstairs?"_

"_Whenever she wants." I say with a small shrug. "I'm leaving everything to her tonight."_

"_Even if she decides that she doesn't want to go through with it?" he asks, and I simply nod, though I really hope she wouldn't do that. "Shit, man! You love her!"_

"_Shut up!" I hiss and give him an angry look. "Scream it out, won't you?"_

"_Are you going to tell her tonight?" Alcide asks, making me nod again. "Before or after?"_

_At hearing that, I punch him lightly on the shoulder. _

_Well, maybe not so lightly, as he winces and rubs the spot my fist connected with. _

_I look back at her, and the smile that only appears upon seeing her quickly decorates my face. We were one of the very few lucky couples in our school that got accepted to the same college. Well, more like I was lucky to get accepted to the same college she received her scholarship from. _

_Even though, we were not going to fool ourselves into believing that things will work out because we were studying at the same place. We had decided as soon as we got our official enrollment papers, that if things between us remain the same when we finish our first year, we would move in together. _

_I personally hoped things would be the same forever. _

_I feel Alcide's elbow connecting with my side as we watch Lexie approach us, and before I get the chance to say anything, he makes himself scarce. _

"_Where did Al go?" Lexie asks as she wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head on my chest. _

"_I don't know." I say and gently kiss the top of her head. "And honestly, I don't care."_

_The giggle she lets out makes my heart swell, and pull her closer to me. _

"_Are you enjoying your time?" I ask, looking down at her. _

"_I am." She says and looks up to meet my eyes. "But I know I'll be enjoying myself more upstairs."_

"_Are you sure you're ready for this?" I ask after a few moments of silence. I don't want her to regret anything about us, about tonight. _

_I don't want her to regret anything. Period!_

"_Yes, I'm sure." She says and rises on her tiptoes to place a kiss on my jaw. "Let's go." _

"_After you." I say as I take her hand in mine, and we both make our way to the elevators. We don't say anything during the ride up to the 14__th__ floor. We simply hold hands and run our thumbs over the other's hand softly. _

_Once we reach our room, I turn to her before I open the door, and I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. _

"_Close your eyes?" I ask, my voice coming out soft and gentle. _

_With a smile on her face, Lexie closes her eyes, and I can't help but gently kiss her forehead. I open the door and help her inside. I take a look around the room and smile at the end result of all my planning. _

_Lexie still has her eyes closed, so I move to stand behind her before I wrap my arms around her waist and clasp my hands on the front of her stomach before I rest my chin on her shoulder. _

"_Open your eyes." I whisper in her ear, and the gasp I hear coming from her lips tells me I've done a good job. _

_I have small candles lit around the room, giving a soft glow to the atmosphere, while there are rose petals scattered over the bed and the floor. I had tried to arrange for a bottle of champagne, but the hotel drew the line at serving alcohol to a couple of 18 year-olds. _

"_Eric, this is beautiful." She says and turns around with my arms still wrapped around her. "Thank you."_

"_I'm the one who should thank you, Lexie." I say and run my fingers lightly down her cheek. "You've made me whole. You've given me everything I've ever wanted." I smile when I feel her hands move to the back of my neck and her fingers begin to run through my hair. "I love you, Lexie."_

_The movement of her hands suddenly stops, and she looks at me with so many emotions flashing over her face that I can't tell where one begins and the other ends. _

_Finally, I smile spreads her lips and I see a hint of tears glistening her eyes. _

"_I love you too, Eric." She says and buries her head in the crock of my neck. "I love you more than anything."_

_I can't believe the amount of emotions I'm feeling right now. I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I want to jump up and down and scream it to the world, but I decide that my public declaration will have to wait. _

_Right now, I just want to make love to my girlfriend. _

_I sweep down and wrap an arm on the back of her legs before I pick her up, earning a squeal of delight from her. God, how I love the sounds she makes! I slowly make my way to the bed with her in my arms, and I gently place her on it before I move to lie next to her. _

_I run the tip of my fingers down from her neck until I reach the edge of her dress. I can't enough of her, and I haven't really had her yet. Granted, we've fooled around just like any other teenagers would, but I can't have enough of all of her. _

_I could spend hours just looking at her, but right now, all I want is to have her out of that dress. _

_I help her into a sitting position just long enough for me to lower the zipper on the back, and once my fingers brush against her skin, I swear I feel sparks between us. _

_The gasp she lets out and the way she arches her back tells me she felt it too. _

_Once the zipper is all the way down, I help her out of her dress before I push her back again on the bed. _

"_You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." I say as I place a quick kiss on her lips. I feel her small hands reach for my tie, and she begins to remove it before moving to my shirt. I begin to trace kisses, starting from her ear down to the base of her neck and back, as she unbuttons my shirt. A few seconds later, I'm hovering over her shirtless, and I can't stop looking into her eyes. _

"_Tell me again." I demand while I run my fingers over the material of her red lace bra. The matching set of underwear is going to be the death of me, and I wish I could just rip it off of her. _

"_I love you." She says, fully understanding what I was asking for. "Make love to me, Eric."_

"_Your wish is my command." I say before I lean in and capture her lips with mine. My kiss that began soft and slow quickly intensifies with passion, and I let out a moan when she grants my tongue entry into her waiting mouth. Her soft lips move over mine in harmony, both of us knowing what the other wants and how they want it. _

_I can't stop myself from touching her any more, and I let my hand run an invisible trail from the edge of her red panties up to her bra, before I palm her perfect breast. I begin to massage her through the fabric of her bra, earning a moan from her. _

_Too soon for my own liking, I have to break our kiss for air, but I quickly move my lips back to her neck, where I place open-mouthed kisses until I reach that point I know drives her crazy, and I gently nibble on it. _

"_Eric…" the way she moans my name drives me insane, and I pull down her bra, exposing her breast to the cool air. Her nipple is already hard from my attention, but it's not as hard as I would like it to be, so before she could say another word, I latch onto her breast, and suck greedily on the pink pebble. _

_I move my hand to the other breast, not wanting to leave it without attention. With my free hand, I reach between her back and the bed, and unclasp her bra in one quick move. Seconds later, she's lying topless in front of me, and I dive into her breasts again. _

_I switch my attention between both breasts, paying equal amount of attention with my mouth and fingers to each one. When I'm satisfied with the state she's in, I begin to trail kisses down her stomach, all the way to the edge of her panties, never once removing my hands from her breasts. _

"_Beautiful. Simply beautiful." I mumble against her skin, and I can feel her squirm under me. I trail my fingers down the same path I went with my lips, and once I reach the piece of fabric covering the one place I want to be, I look up her to find her leaning her head back, and breathing heavily with her eyes closed. _

"_Baby, look at me." I say, and she quickly obliges. "Did you bring extra clothes?" I ask, and she only nods. "Good, cause I'm gonna rip those off." I say, and before she has the chance to protest, I rip her panties off and throw the fabric away, leaving her completely naked below me, for the first time ever. _

_The look on her face tell me just how turned on she is buy my sudden conversion to cave-man, and one look at her nether lips proves my suspicion. I can see her glistening with her arousal, and I can't stop myself from running my fingers over her folds, earning a deep moan from her. _

_I have gotten her off numerous times before, but only using my hand, without either of us being fully naked. Now was my chance to do what I have waited too long for. _

_I grab her waist and change her position so that she's in the middle of the bed side-ways. I get off the bed and kneel on the floor before reaching for her legs and pulling her towards me. I place my hands on the inside of her thigh and push her legs apart, giving myself a perfect view of her wet lips. I blow softly at her heating flesh, making her squirm._

_Deciding that I've waited long enough, I run my tongue through her fold, and my eyes immediately roll into the back of my head at her sweetness. The only thing that I think about as I lick her is how perfect she is, and I realize that I could spend forever between her thighs, worshipping her like the goddess she is. _

_After a few minutes of simply licking her and lightly sucking at her nub, I have to throw my arm across her waist to keep her in place. I can feel her getting closer to her release by the way her legs are shaking, and I slip a finger inside her heat, making her hips buckle up. _

"_God! Eric!" she moans and I look up to find her holding the bed sheets in a death grip. "Don't stop baby!"_

_I smile against her flesh, happy with the effect I have on her. I curl my finger inside her, looking for that mystical spot that I know would have her scream my name, and as soon as she does, I fasten my lips against her nub and suck as hard as I can, all the while licking it with the tip of my tongue. _

_Her walls clamp on my finger as her orgasm claims her, and the way she feels combined with the way she screams and moans out my name, makes me close to losing my own control. _

_Once I'm sure she over the aftershocks of her release, I get up to my feet and begin to unbuckle my belt, but she's suddenly on her knees in front of me, holding her hands over mine. _

"_Allow me." She says, her eyes still hooded and her hair now a beautiful mess, but as much as I want her to blow me, I want to feel her around me more. _

"_Just help me out of them." I say as I feel her fingers work my pants, which are soon pooled at my feet with my boxers. I step out of my shoes and clothes, before reaching for a condom from the bedside table. Once I have the rubber on, I push her back on the bed before moving on top of her, holding my weight up on my elbows that I'm resting on either side of her head. "You can do whatever you want to me later. Right now, I just want to feel you."_

_She only nods, and I feel her wrap her legs around me, before reaching down and holding me in her hand. She gives me a few slow strokes, and I have to ask her to stop, because even with the condom on, her simple touch can be my undoing. I feel her guide me to her, and soon, she has me resting against her heated core. _

_Agonizingly slowly, I begin to push myself inside her, and I let out a load groan at how perfect she feels around me, but as soon as I see her close her eyes tightly as if in pain, I stop. _

"_Are you ok, baby?" I ask as I run my hand over her hair and forehead. _

"_Yes." She says while biting on her lower lip. "Just give me a second to adjust."_

_Now, I know that she's not a virgin, but I also know that it has been a little over a year since she last had sex, and I'm a guy who's been generously gifted in the size department. _

_So I simply hold myself up on my elbows as I trail soft kisses across her face and neck, all the while whispering how much I love and adore her, until she moves beneath me, silently asking me to move in turn. _

_I pull out of her slowly, before thrusting back in, and for a while, that's all I do; giving her slow but firm thrusts. She feels perfect around me, as if we were made for each other. I have to hold myself back a couple of times, because I don't want to lose control so soon, until she begins to move with me, meeting me thrust for thrust. _

"_Faster, Eric." She moans and opens her eyes to look into mine. "Claim me."_

_I never imagined that two simple words would have the ability to turn me into a primitive creature, but hers do just that, and before I can stop myself, I start pounding into her hard and fast. _

"_Mine!" I say and lower my head to capture her lips in a bruising kiss. "You're mine."_

"_Yes." She screams and throws her head back. "Yours! Only yours!"_

_I can feel her walls begin to flutter around me, and I know that once she trips over the edge, she will take me with her, so I increase the speed of my thrusts, and angle myself so that I'm hitting her nub with each one of my thrusts. _

"_Open your eyes, baby." I demand, knowing that both of were seconds away from ecstasy. "I want to see your eyes when you cum."_

_She obliges, and it's like our eyes are windows to each other's souls. As soon as they lock in a heated glance, we fall over the edge of pleasure, calling out each other's names. _

_I finally collapse next to her, and I'm barely able to catch my breath as I wrap my arm around her and pull her close to me. She rests her head on my heaving chest, and I feel her breasts rise and fall against my side. _

"_I love you, Eric." She whispers a while later, long after our breathing returned to normal. _

"_I love you, Lexie." I say and place a kiss on the top of her head as I feel her breathing even out, and I know she's fallen asleep. "Forever."_

_End flashback_

"Eric?" I hear my name being called, breaking me out of my trip down memory lane. I look up, and I see Lexie standing in front of me, a look of utter shock and surprise on her face. "How did you find me?"

I simply shrug without saying a word before I rise to my feet. I hold up the bottle of scotch for her to see, and a quick look of panic flashes through her eyes that I would've missed if I wasn't looking closely at her.

"Can we talk?" I ask after we stand in front of her apartment in complete silence.

"I don't think that's a good idea." She says and looks away from me, and I have to take a deep breath and count to 10 to stop myself from snapping at her.

"I won't take much of your time." I say and take a closer step towards her, only to have her take a step back.

That one move shatters my heart into a thousand pieces.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I say, and she looks up at me with doubt in her eyes, making the thousand pieces of my heart shatter into millions.

She doesn't say anything for the longest time, and eventually only nods before she unlocks the door and walks in, silently asking me to follow her.

"I'm gonna go get changed." She says as she places her purse and keys on the coffee table in the middle of her small living room. "Help yourself for a drink. Ice is in the freezer, and glasses are in the cupboard above the sink."

I take a quick look at her apartment while she goes inside her bedroom, and the first thing that catches my eye makes my heart leap.

Right there on the wall in the middle of the room, hung is a portrait of me. Whoever did it had done an excellent job, because you could easily mistake the portrait with a picture.

I shake my head to let go of the shock at seeing my own face staring back at me from her wall, and I try not to think too much of it. I make my way to the kitchen and get grab two glasses, and then reach for the ice from the freezer and a lemon from the fridge.

I still remember the way she likes her drink. Double scotch, 3 ice-cubes, and a slice of lemon. I fix her glass before fixing my own, and I walk out of the kitchen just as she is walking out of her bedroom, wearing a pair of black sweat pants and a grey tank top.

"Here you go." I say and offer her her drink. "I hope I remembered correctly."

She eyes the glass with what I can only describe as longing before she looks up at me and shakes her head.

"Thanks, but I'm gonna have to pass." She says and moves to sit on the one-seat couch, leaving me the big couch to use.

"The least you can do is have a drink with me." I say and move to place the glass on the table in front of her. "You owe me that much."

"I don't drink anymore, Eric." She says, her voice barely coming out in whisper, and I see her eyeing her keys on the table.

"Why not?"

She reaches for her keys, and I notice what looks like a poker chip hanging on the key chain.

"I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've been sober for 14 months now."

The next voice either of us hears is the sound of my glass shattering on the floor.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I just want to thank each and every one who has taken the time to send me a review. I'm trying to reply to everyone as much as I can without giving away too many spoilers for the coming chapters. Also, for the 'guests' who leave reviews asking questions, please sign in so I can reply to you, otherwise, your questions will have to go unanswered. **

**Now, it's time for what you've all been waiting for. The confrontation! **

**Chapter 9**

**Eric POV**

As she explains why she doesn't drink anymore, I feel the glass slip from between my fingers and smash against the floor. Lexie's head snaps up at the noise, and she quickly jumps to her feet.

"Shit, Eric. Are you OK?" she asks and reaches for my hands, I assume to check that the glass didn't break between my palms. When I don't reply and only stare blankly at her, she stares back for a few seconds before she bends down to pick up the shards of broken glass.

I'm frozen in my spot as I think over what she had just told me.

Recovering alcoholic.

Been sober for 14 months.

_What the fuck happened to her?_

"Lexie…" I begin, my voice catching in my throat as I call her by her real name for the first time in 4 years. "You need to explain what you just told me."

"What is there to explain, Eric?" she spits out, her anger evident in her voice, as she picks up the glass and wipes away the spilled scotch. "Or did you not insult me enough the other night that you want to rub my failures in my face?"

_What the hell?_

"Listen, I'm sorry about the other night." I say and fall to my knees in front of her so that we're on eye level. "That's one of the reasons I came by tonight, to apologize about the way I behaved."

She looks at me for the longest minute, before she gathers all the broken glass in her hand and walks to the kitchen to throw it out. For a reason beyond my recognition, I don't want her to leave my sight, so I just follow her into the kitchen.

I find her resting her arms on the edge of the sink, her shoulders rising and falling as she's obviously trying to calm herself down with some sort of a breathing exercise.

"What do you want, Eric?" she asks after about 2 minutes of complete silence. "Why are you here?"

"Are you really surprised that I'm here?" I ask as I feel my anger getting the better of me. "Did you really think that I wouldn't demand an explanation for the hell I had to go through because of you?"

"It's been 4 freaking years! You should move on!" she snaps in turn, finally turning around to face me. "I have!"

"If you call being a stripper moving on, then you sure have a fucked up definition of the term!" I say with a snort before I run my fingers through my hair.

I look at her, like really look at her, for the first time in what seemed like forever. I was blinded by my anger the other night that I didn't really bother, but now as she's standing in front of me, her face flushed with anger and her hands gripping deadly on the chair, I finally have the chance to, and I didn't like what I was seeing.

Her hair has lost its shine and it's obvious that it's not as silky as it used to be. It's also much shorter than it was, barely reaching her shoulders. She has dark circles around her eyes, which have lost the life they once housed.

What bothered me the most is the amount of weight she has obviously lost. The tank tops she so clearly still loves used to hang to her body like a second skin, now the grey fabric hangs loosely over her shoulders.

She's been suffering as much as I have.

Pam has probably been right. She didn't leave because she wanted to. She left because something major had happened, and she's clearly still struggling with it.

"What happened?" I ask, deciding to cut to the chase and stop moving in circles.

A long sigh escapes her lips and she shakes her head before looking at me with nothing but pain and sadness in her eyes.

"Listen, Eric. I'm tired. I've had a shitty, long day." She says and begins to fumble with the hem of her shirt, a sign I long ago learned meant that she's trying to avoid something. "Can we do this another time?"

"No." I say and take a step towards her. The look I have must be one of absolute anger and fury, because when she looks at me, she takes a step back. "I've had enough, Lexie! I've had enough guessing and wondering to last me a lifetime. You're gonna tell me what happened, and you're gonna start talking now! I don't care if you've spent the entire night dancing for a bunch of middle aged men who don't know how to get it up anymore!" I spit the last part out, not able to hide my bitterness about her job from my tone.

"Do you think I enjoy what I do?" she asks, her voice picking up in tone. "Do you think I enjoy being objectified like that? Well, in case you were wondering, I don't! But it was the only option I had, and I took it."

"There are a million jobs out there!"

"I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict!" she yells, and I'm sure my face loses all its color at that extra piece of information. "No one gave me the time of the day, let alone hire me! I was homeless and jobless. This was the only option for me!"

"You could've come to me!" I yell back before giving myself the chance to ask about the drug addiction. We were starting to get somewhere, and I would have my chance to get into that later. "I would've helped you!"

"Really, Eric? And say what? Hey, I'm sorry I left two years ago, but I'm out of a job and don't have a place to stay. Mind if I crash on your couch until I get back on my own feet?" she asks, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You see me for the first time in 4 years and you treat me like trash! Do I really have to wonder how you would've treated me 2 years ago?"

"I would've helped you!" I say again and rub my hands over my face.

"No, you wouldn't have! You forget that I know you, probably too well! You forget that I can still read you like an open book! You haven't changed at all, Eric, not now, not 2 years ago. You treated me like a whore a few days ago, and you would've treated me just the same had I shown up on your doorstep announced back then!"

"How else would you have had me react, huh?" I yell, my voice booming through the house. "For years I wondered what I had done wrong to drive you away! I gave you everything I had! I loved you with every cell of my being, and that still wasn't enough for you! _You _walked out on _me_, remember? You were a coward that you didn't even have the guts to face me! How else would I have reacted when years later, I find you stripping for entertainment?"

She looks at me for a few seconds, a look of what seems like confusion flashes through her eyes, then the walks out of the kitchen. I quickly follow her and before she could get too far away, I grab her arm forcefully and turn her around to face me.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" I hiss through gritted teeth. "You don't get to run again! You don't even get a choice about talking! I have the right to know why one day you just decided to rip my heart out and walk all over it, when I haven't done anything to hurt you! I've done everything you ever asked me for! I've kept my nose out of your past! I've kept my distance when you would shut everybody out, _even me_! I've been nothing but supportive and loving! I have the right to know why none of that was enough for you!"

"Let go of me!" she says as she tries to free her arm from my grip. "Eric, let me go! You're hurting me!"

"Good!" I say, making her eyes grow in horror. "Maybe now you can get a hint of how you hurt me when you left!"

"Do you think I wanted to do it?" she asks and yanks her arm away before she starts rubbing the spot I was holding. "Do you think I liked walking away from you?" she says, her voice rising again. "It killed me! It broke me just as much as it broke you!"

"Then whey the fuck did you do it?" I scream at her, taking another step towards her. "Why the fuck did you throw away everything we had? Do you even have a clue how I felt when I realized you were gone that day? Do you have any idea what you did to me?"

"Yes, I do know!" she screams back. "I do know because I felt the same! Hell, I still feel the same every day I look at my wall!" she says and points at the portrait I noticed earlier. "You were the first person to ever love me! Do you know how that feels? To be loved for the first time in your life at 18? I loved you, just as strongly as you love me, if not more! You were the air the air that I breathe! I felt like I was suffocating when I left! I felt the life being sucked away from me!"

I watch her as she runs her fingers through her hair, a habit she picked up from me many years ago, and I'm suddenly washed with a mixture of emotions that I'm surprised I manage to stay up on my feet.

Right at that second, I realize just how much I had missed her.

And I realize just how much I still love her.

"I'm begging you, Lexie." I say, my voice becoming softer, and she looks at me with tears in her eyes. "Tell me what happened. Tell me what I did wrong. Tell me anything!"

"I can't." she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "I can't. It hurts too much!"

After all this time, she still doesn't trust me. She probably never did, and I feel myself snap as I watch her head towards her room.

Before I stop myself, I follow her and as soon as she steps inside the room, I grab her by both arms and slam her against the wall, caging her with my body.

"I've trusted you with everything." I say, my face so close to her I can actually feel hear breath on my cheek. "I've done everything in my power to have you trust me, but even after all this time, you still don't."

"Eric…" she says as she breathes heavily, her chest heaving against mine. Her tears used to be my undoing, softening me when I was at my angriest, now they only serve to fuel my anger.

"You don't get to cry about this!" I snap without letting go of her, still holding her body against the wall with my own. "You don't get to cry about anything! You chose to destroy us! You chose to ignore everything we had! Own it up, Lexie!"

"I did own it up!" she screams, her eyes shining with emotions I can no longer identify. "You don't have a fucking clue what I had to go through because of my stupid decision! I chose to leave, and I lost everything with that! I lost you! I loved you, Eric, and I was stupid to choose to leave. Damn it, I still love you!"

When she screams that last part, my whole body goes rigid, and I'm just staring at her.

_She still loves me. _

Before either of us could say anything else, I have her pushed up against the wall, and I'm kissing her, letting all the anger and pain show in that one kiss.

**A/N: So, thing are finally going somewhere with these two! All the important revelations and discoveries will be happening in the coming chapters. Hope you liked this one! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I know that most of the story is being told from Eric's POV, but that's because Lexie has all the answers, and I thought that it would be very short and vague to have her tell chapters without letting out too much information. **

**I also want to apologize for the delay in update, but I was sick for a few days and couldn't write anything. I hope this chapter makes up for it.**

**Chapter 10**

**Eric POV**

Her lips still feel the same.

That's the only thing I can think about as I kiss her. Her lips still feel the same.

For a few seconds, she doesn't respond, but as I tangle my fingers in her hair and pull her head down to allow myself easier access to her lips, she whimpers and gives in.

When she parts her lips, I let my tongue sweep inside and battle against hers, and quickly, I feel my knees go weak.

I have lost count of how many women I've fucked in the past 4 years, but none of them was able to make me feel the way Lexie did.

The way Lexie obviously still does.

I'm furious as her, and at myself, even as I kiss her. I'm furious that she still has the ability to affect me this way. I'm furious that I'm allowing myself to react to her still.

I'm furious because this one kiss has confirmed what I've been trying to deny for 4 years.

No woman will ever compare to her. No woman will ever take her place.

I only will ever want her.

My mind spins with all the emotions I'm feeling, and I can't control what my body does any more. It almost feels like an out-of-body experience, only I'm not watching myself from afar, I'm right there, experiencing every single emotion.

As I lift her further up the wall, I feel her wrap her legs around my waist, and I can't help but grind my now aching erection against her. With one hand still tangled in her hair, I move the other up under her shirt, and strongly palm her braless breast, eliciting a moan from her.

"Can you feel what you do to me?" I ask as I rub myself against her again. "Do you see the effect you still have on me?"

"Eric…"

"Do I still make you feel the same?" I ask, my hand still palming her breast, making her moan again. "Answer me!"

"Yes!" she gasps as I carry her from the wall and put her on the bed.

A faint voice in the back of my head tells me that I should stop, but the way she looks as she's lying on the bed in front of me, her lips swollen from the intensity of my kiss, shuts that voice quickly, and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with my lust for her.

I just want to feel her. I just want to feel every inch of her. I want to feel her skin against mine. I want to feel her heat surrounding me as I thrust into her.

I just want to fuck her into submission. Maybe then she'll give me the answers I want!

I pull my shirt over my head, and I hear her let out a gasp. The look in her eyes tell me just how much she has missed me, and as I cover her body with mine and slip my hand under her shirt again, I can tell she wants this as much as I do.

"We shouldn't do this." She says, her voice coming out in a weak whisper.

"And you shouldn't have left me, yet you did." I say before I take her lips in another angry kiss, not allowing her to protest more.

Finally, after what feels like hours of her just lying there, doing nothing but kissing me back, I feel her hands on my shoulders, and as soon as they're there, I feel her nails dig into my flesh, mirroring the same amount of frustration she's feeling.

As I rid her of her shirt, her hands run over my back before resting over my ass, where she squeezes strongly before pulling me closer to her. I feel her hand move from my back to the front of my jeans, and as I take one of her nipples into my mouth, she unbuttons my pants and shoves her hand inside, taking me between her fingers.

"Fuck!" I mumble against her breast as I make a quick work of her sweats. Soon, we're both naked, and if the look in my eyes is anything like the look in hers, I know that neither of us will last long.

I know I won't be able to go slow with her. I'm too angry to. I reach for my wallet and take out the condom I usually carry around with me. It has become a habit of mine not to go anywhere without one ever since I tried to fuck every girl in town.

For a split second, I wonder if she'll think that I came here with the intention of sleeping with her, but I push the idea to the side.

As I slip the condom on with one hand, I run my fingers through her folds and I smile when I see that she is, in fact, ready.

I still have the same effect on her as she has on me.

"I'm not gonna be gentle, Lexie." I say as I stand on the floor by the side of the bed, and grab her legs to pull her to me, before I spread her legs open and position myself at her entry.

She only nods at me, and with one swift move, I'm buried to the hilt inside her. The scream she lets out and the way she arches her back makes me think I might've been a little too rough with her, but when she opens her eyes and looks at me lustfully, I pull out and slam back in.

"Fuck!" I say between gritted teeth. She's so tight that I wonder about the last time she's had sex. She almost feels as tight as the first time we made love.

Our coupling is angry. It's fast, and hard, and messy. The bed moves beneath her with every hard thrust I take, and I'm digging my fingers into her thighs as I feel my release approaching.

As I watch her thrashing her head against the mattress, I wonder if anyone has been able to please her the way I did, and apparently still do.

I lean forward and take one of her nipples in my mouth, while one of my hands reaches that small bundle of nerves. I want her to cum with me. No matter how angry I am, I will not deny her the release she obviously wants.

I suck on her nipple and squeeze the other breast with my other hand. As soon as I feel her walls start to flutter around me, I pinch her nub, and she lets out a shattering scream as she climaxes, taking me with her over the edge.

I collapse next to her, my legs no longer able to hold me, and I instinctively wrap my arm around her and pull her to me. We're both panting, trying to catch our breath, and I can only think about how long it'll take me to go at it again.

I know it's wrong. I know we should be talking.

But for the life of me, I can't bring myself to care.

It's like I've been deprived air for 4 years, and now that I've breathed again, I don't want to ever stop.

I feel her trying to move from under my arm, and when I open my eyes to look at her, I find her looking at the ceiling.

"Where are you going?" I ask, not loosening my hold on her.

"Bathroom." She says, and I can't help but frown at her cold tone.

I sit up on the bed, and watch her as she puts on a robe that was hanging on the bed pole. She doesn't look at me as she makes her way to the bathroom, and as soon as the door closes, I hear her break down in sobs.

"Shit!" I swear and jump to my feet. I try to open the bathroom door, but she's locked it. "Lexie, open the door."

"I think you should leave." She says between sobs, and I can barely understand what she's saying. "Just go, Eric."

"Lexie, open the fucking door, or I swear to God I'll break it down!"

When she doesn't open the door or say anything, I start banging my shoulder against the hard wood. I don't care if I break the door, and I sure as hell don't care if I hurt myself.

I just want to hold her in my arms and calm her down.

After a few minutes of trying to break the door, and failing miserably, I sink to the floor and rest my head on it.

"Lexie, please." I say, the desperation and pain now evident in my voice. "I'm begging you. Open the door."

Minutes pass, and they seem like hour, with me just sitting on the carpeted floor, waiting for any kind of move from her. When I hear the lock turning, I jump to my feet, and as soon as she opens the door, I take two steps towards her and wrap my arms around her shaking body.

"I'm sorry." I whisper into her hair. She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head on my chest before breaking down in a new fit of sobs, and can't help but try to pull her closer.

For the past week, my emotions and feelings have been all over the place. One minute I hate her for what she's done to me, the second, I'm desperate to feel her touch.

"Lexie, please, baby." I whisper again as I smooth my hand over her hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't come here to sleep with you, please believe that. I just can't control how I feel about you; how you make me feel."

"Why now, Eric?" she asks, and I can't stop the confused look from washing over my face. She pushes away from me and wipe her tears with the back of her hands, before she looks up at me, waiting for me to answer.

"What do you mean?"

"Why show up at the club now? What happened to make you seek me out?" she asks before she runs her fingers through her hair. "You've known where I am for years, and you never showed up. Why show up now?"

I look at her like she's grown a second head, and I can't help but wonder if she's gone crazy.

"What the hell are you talking about, Lexie?" I ask, my voice taking on the angry edge it has become so accustomed to in the past couple of hours. "I found you by accident! I didn't know where you were for years!"

"Oh, don't try to deny it!" she snaps, and if looks could kill, I would be long dead by now.

"Deny what? I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Bill told you where I work!" she yells, making my eyes grow. "He told me how you didn't want to have anything to do with me! What changed? What happened?"

"Bill?" I manage to ask, still not fully understanding what she said, but trying to connect the dots with what Alcide told me on his wedding day.

He had warned me that Bill knew something. He suspected it because when he called Bill and told him that we're going to a strip club, Bill was actually excited to join; only he wasn't so excited when he knew where we were going.

Alcide thought something was suspicious about the way he reacted when he heard _Wild Things_, and when Alcide suspected something, it probably was true.

"Lexie, calm down for a second, and explain what you're talking about, because I sure don't understand a thing."

"Are you saying that Bill never told you where I work?" she asks when she sees just how confused and angry I am. I shake my head at her, making her gasp. "Son of a bitch!"

"Would you please just fucking explain?" I ask, my patience wearing thin. I need to fully understand what she was talking about before rearranged Bill's face with my fist.

"Bill came to the club a month after I started working there." She begins and moves to sit on the bed, making me go and sit beside her. Without knowing what I was doing, I reach for her hand, and for a second, a smile flashes on her lips before she lets out a sigh.

_Flashback – __**LEXIE POV**_

"_Cherry, there's someone here to see you." Sophie, aka Candy, says as she walks into my room, without bothering to knock. _

"_They should speak with Steve." I say without looking up from my cell phone. We never call each other by our real names here, you never know who's lurking in a dark corner listening and watching. _

"_Steve said it was ok. He said to use his office."_

_That got my attention. If Steve, the club manager, allowed me to use his office, that meant whoever was here to see me, wanted to see me about something personal. _

_I quickly change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and make my way to Steve's office. I take a deep breath before I open the door, only to have it knocked out of my lungs when I see Bill Compton sitting in there. _

"_Lexie." He says and gets on his feet. _

_I'm frozen in my place. I don't know what to say or do. After a few long seconds of silence, I turn around, wanting to do the thing I did best. _

_Run. _

"_Lexie, please!" he calls before I leave the office. "I just want to talk."_

"_There's nothing to talk about, Bill." I say, not turning around to face him. "You never saw me."_

"_I've been coming here every day for a week, Lexie." he says, catching my attention with that simple sentence. "I've been asked to check if you're ok. That's why I want to talk to you."_

_I let out a shattered breath as I immediately understand what he said, and before I can stop myself, I turn around to look at him. _

"_You told him?"_

"_I had to." He says with a shrug. "I wasn't sure it was you when I first came here, but once I was, I had to tell him. He's been a wreck since you left."_

"_How is he?"_

"_Not so good." Bill says, his shoulders slumping a bit. "I tried to convince him to come himself and talk to you, but he refused."_

"_I understand." I say and look down at the floor. Of course he would refuse, why would he want to talk to me after all this time?_

"_Alcide is the one who asked me to see if you're ok." Bill says, his eyes holding a mixture of sadness and hope. "Are you ok?"_

"_I guess." I say with a shrug. "Did you tell him I work here? What I do?"_

"_Yes." Bill says, almost looking ashamed. "You have to understand. Things have not been so great with him for two years. I thought that if he knew you were here, he would come, and maybe you could work things out."_

"_It's ok. He's your friend; you just want what's best for him." I say and lean back on the door. "How's everyone doing?"_

_For an hour, Bill fills me up on everyone. He tells me how devastated they were when I left, and how it had taken them some time to move on. _

"_Why did you leave, Lexie?" He asks and reaches to hold my hand, but I quickly pull it back. "What happened?"_

"_I had my reasons." I simply say. I could tell him what happened, but he will only tell Eric, and since he's made it clear that he doesn't want to see me, there's no need for him to know what happened. _

_He's been hurt enough as it is. _

"_Lexie, please. Everyone was going crazy trying to figure out what happened. If we had done something wrong." Bill says, begging me with his eyes. "I promise, I won't tell him."_

_I look at him for a long time, contemplating what to do, but I eventually stand up from the chair I was sitting in, and shove my hands in my pockets. _

"_I have to get back. It's my turn at the pole in 15 minutes." I say and walk to the door. I reach for the handle, but freeze in my place for the second time that night. "Bill?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Would you tell him that I'm sorry? That I never meant to hurt him?"_

_I'm met with silence, and before he can tell me that he won't do it, I open the door._

"_Of course, I will." I hear Bill say just as I leave the office. _

_End flashback_

"That was the first time I relapsed." She says, and I feel my whole body stiffen. "I stopped by a liquor store on the way home that night, and I drank myself into numbness."

"How long ago was that?" I ask as I stand up and reach for my clothes.

"15 months ago." she says, and I freeze in my place.

For 15 months, Bill knew where she was and he never said anything! I'm gonna fucking kill him.

"Did you see him again after that?" I ask as I grab my phone and start dialing his number.

"Last time I saw him was a week before you came to the club." She says, and when I look up at her, she's looking at everything but me.

"What are you not telling me?" I ask, making her sigh.

"I don't know why he lied to me, or why he never told you." She says and closes her eyes. "Maybe you should talk to him. He's the one with the answers."

"There's more to this, Lexie." I say and move to kneel in front of her. She opens her eyes when I grab her hands, and a sad smile crosses her face. "What else are you not telling me?"

"He asked me out." she says in a quiet tone, and I immediately feel my blood boil. "He's been asking me out for months."

That fucking bastard! I knew that he had a thing for her! Ever since he first met her, and he's had a thing for her.

I'm gonna fucking kill him!

"And?" I probe, needing to know what her answer was.

She looks at me for a long minute before she pulls her hand out of my grasp and rests it on my cheek. She runs her thumb over my lips, and I can't help but close my eyes and lean into her touch.

No matter how much time passes, she's still my anchor.

"I said no." she says, making me instantly relax. "I always say no."

"Why?"

"He's not you." She says with a small shrug.

"But it's been 4 years." I say with a raised eyebrow. She sure doesn't mean that…

"Eric, you're the only man I've been with since that day I walked into your father's office."

As the words she said sink in, I feel an invisible hand closing in on my throat. I don't know why, but I believe her. I know that she's telling the truth.

For 4 years, she hasn't been with anyone, while I fucked my way through town.

I felt myself suffocating at realization hit me. This means that she didn't leave me for someone else.

This means that whatever drove her away must've been huge, and I sat back and let it happen to her.

"Eric, are you ok?" she asks as I stumble backwards. I can't be near her now, not after I betrayed her like that.

I could've protected her. I could've helped her.

I did neither.

"I…" I begin as I get up to standing on shaking legs. "I need to go."

The pained look on her face almost knocks me off my feet, and I quickly turn around.

"I need to speak to Bill." I say, trying to pacify her, and probably myself in the process. "I'll be back later."

"Ok." She says with resignation.

"I promise you, Lexie. I will be back."

With that, I make my way out of the bedroom and out of the apartment. I can't walk fast enough down the stairs. I feel like the walls are closing in on me, and I just need to feel some fresh air against my face.

As soon as I step out of the building, I struggle to stay on my feet as I gasp for air. I feel my chest heaving, and it's like I'm having a panic attack. I force myself to take in deep breaths as I lean my arm against the wall. Now is not the time to get too emotional.

Now is not the time for remorse.

Right now, I just need to speak to Bill.

I'll have enough time to regret things after I've dealt with him.

Once my breathing returns to normal, I dig my phone out of my pocket, wanting to call Jason and Lafayette to join me. They're the only ones who would keep me from killing him.

But as soon as I grab my phone, it starts ringing, and with one look at the ID, I feel my heart sink again.

"Godric?" I ask as soon as I pick up.

"Eric, I have what you need." His voice says from the other end of the line.

"Tell me."

"You need to be sitting down for this." He says, and I can tell that he's serious. "It's not good."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Here's the one you've all been waiting for. The history Lexie has been hiding from Eric! How will he react?**

**Chapter 11**

**Eric POV**

I tap my fingers nervously on the table at the diner Godric asked me to meet him at. When he called about 30 minutes ago and told me that what he found was not good, I opted to meet him somewhere so that I can see things for myself.

I was already on the edge of a panic attack when he called; I'd rather be somewhere where it can be prevented, just in case.

"Eric, there you are." I hear him say as he approaches the table and I'm occupying, and I give him a polite nod as he fills the seat across of mine. "How are you?"

"Cut the crap, Godric." I snap, making him raise an eyebrow at me. "What did you find?"

"You're not going to like it, Eric." Godric says with a sigh and places a thick manila envelope on the table, which he keeps his hand on when I reach for. "I have to know something first, Eric. What are you going to do about this?"

"I don't know." I say with a sigh and lean back in my chair. "She's been keeping her past from me from the day we met, and now that I've found her, she refuses to give me answers about why she left. Maybe if I know about her past, I'll save her the trouble of having to tell me about it and she'll just tell me why she left."

"What's in here is only public knowledge information. There are details that only she can give you. I tried to talk to her case worker, but she refused to cooperate. I also tried to talk to the detective who was in charge of her parents' case." He said, making my eyebrows shoot to my hairline. "Her doctor, her neighbors. Nothing. No one would tell me anything."

"I'll take what I can get." I say and reach for the folder again, but he stops me from taking it once more. "Spit it out, Godric. I don't have all night."

"There's a time gap that I couldn't account for in such a short time. If I wanted to dig further, it would've taken me much longer, and I assumed you wanted the information quickly."

"You assumed right."

"The information here is from when she was 11 years old, until a month after she left you. The trail disappears until she gets back in town and starts working at the club 18 months ago. So, for 2.5 years, I don't know where she was, or what she did."

I let out another sigh, this time of frustration. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

"One final thing." Godric says and lets out his own sigh. "The club she works at. Do you know who owns it?"

I shake my head, making him give out another sigh. He's obviously not comfortable with that specific piece of information, and I wait for him to actually speak the words.

"It's Edgington." He says, and I feel the color drain from my face. "Russell Edgington owns the club, and from what I understand, he owns her as well."

I can't bring myself to say anything, simply because it feels like my brain stopped working all together.

Russell Edgington.

The one criminal no police department or lawyer has ever been able to catch.

He's been connected to drug crimes, prostitution, money laundering, even human trafficking, but no one has ever been able to pin anything on him.

So he still walks the streets, a free man, who obviously holds something against Lexie.

"There's something else I need you to do for me." I say, my eyes never leaving the folder with both mine and Godric's hand on it.

"Anything."

"Bill Compton." I say and finally look at Godric. "I need you to find anything you can about him, and if he's in any way related to Russell. You've met him, you know where he works and what he does. I need all the ins and outs of his life."

"You need to be careful about what you want to do, Eric." Godric says as he finally lets go of the manila folder. "What's in there is not something anyone should ever have to go through. I don't know Lexie, but after reading what's in there, she has all my respect and admiration for having been able to survive."

"You'll find everything you can about Compton, Godric." I state rather than request, and just by the tone of my voice, Godric knows that if he doesn't do it, I'll find my own way to do it.

"Of course." He says, and with that, he gets off his chair, and walks out of the diner, leaving me with the folder that could hold all the answers I've been looking for.

I keep looking at the folder for what seems like hours. A million thoughts swim through my over-worked brain, and I can't bring myself to focus on one thing.

How did this week turn to be so complicated? The highlight of my week was supposed to be Alcide's wedding, and that would've been drama-free had we not gone to that strip club.

If a time machine suddenly appears in front of me, would I change anything about this week? Probably not, because regardless of all the drama and complications, I now know where Lexie is, and I'm a folder away from learning everything she had hidden from me.

Deciding that it's better that I look over the contents of the folder in private, I grab it, throw a couple of bills on the table, and make my way out of the diner.

The ride back to my apartment was filled with nothing but silence; I didn't even turn on the radio. I just drowned myself with my thoughts.

How the hell did Lexie get involved with Russell? She told me that she's a recovering drug addict, maybe he was her supplier? And where the hell does Bill freaking Compton fit into all of this?

So many scenarios flip through my brain that by the time I get home, I'm actually starting to feel the signs of a migraine. I absentmindedly make my way up to my apartment, that I don't notice the two familiar cars parked in front of my building, and I only realize that I have company when I walk through the door and find Alcide and Pam sitting on my couch, sipping two beers, and laughing their asses off.

"Hi guys." I say as I walk in and throw keys and wallet on the entry table. I never let go of the folder. "Make yourself at home, won't you?"

"What crawled up your ass and died?" Pam asks when she sees the frown on my face.

"Leave him be, Pam." Alcide says; his tone now serious. "Where were you?"

"I went to see Lexie, then I met with Godric." I say, seeing no point in hiding anything. These two are literally the only people I trust in my life, and they practically know everything there is to know about me. "And before you ask anything, I slept with Lexie."

"I told you he'll do it." Pam says and raises her arms up in defeat. "That woman is his kryptonite!"

"What the fuck, Eric?" Alcide asks, his eyes following my every move as I step behind the kitchen counter and pour myself a glass of scotch. I down the glass in one gulp, before filling it again, and making my way to the couch, all the while with the folder in my hand.

"What do you have there?" Pam asks pointing at the folder.

"The information Godric was able to gather about Lexie." I say and sit on the empty spot in front of the coffee table. I put the folder in front of me, but I still don't open it.

"Have you opened it?" Alcide asks and moves to sit beside me.

"Does he look like he did?" Pam snaps and starts removing everything off the coffee table, giving me room to spread the papers on it. "We'll be right here if you need anything, Eric."

"I think we should leave him alone." Alcide says, but before I could ask him to stay, Pam snaps again.

"He's already drinking like a fish before opening it. Do you want to risk what he'll do once he sees what's inside?"

Alcide looks at me, and I only nod at him, silently telling him that it's ok for them to stay.

I'm actually thankful that they're here. I really could use all the support I could get.

Finally, after what seems like forever of waiting, I muster up the courage and open the envelope, before holding the papers in my hand and going through them.

Godric has arranged all the documents chronologically, and the first thing in front of me is a medical report for Lexie's mother, with pictures attached to it. The report lists a number of injuries; a broken arm, a fractured rib, a broken nose, and a black eye. The pictures show each injury, and I shudder as I begin to realize that those are reports of domestic abuse.

What turns my blood into red ice is the report attached to the first one. In similar fashion, it lists a number of injuries: a broken right arm, a fractured right foot, two fractured ribs, and a broken cheek bone. That report is for Lexie, and when I read that she was only 11 when she had to suffer through that, I feel the wind sucked out of my lungs.

I try to find a police report related to that incident, but I find none. Her mother must've not pressed charges, but I have to wonder how Lexie was not taken into state custody after that! She was just 11 years old!

The medical reports continue, each one separated by months, but the worst for Lexie being the first. After the first three reports, I find a police report attached, and it states that all injuries were sustained during accidents.

Right at that second, I realize just how glad I am that her father is dead, because I know I would've hunted him down and killed him with my bare hands.

The last report I find is not from a hospital, but rather a forensics and police report, detailing the murder/suicide of Lexie's parents. The report also hold the eye witness testimony from the 13 years-old Lexie, who describes in exact details how her mother killed her father before shooting herself in the head.

I feel my heart beat faster with each report I read, and I vaguely notice Alcide and Pam picking up the reports I've read and threw on the table in front of me.

The next folder is her foster case. No one wanted to adopt a 13 years-old, so she had to struggle through the foster care system. There are small files for each foster home of the 9 she lived in, each file containing letters and complaints from her foster parents about how they couldn't deal with her, how she was too much trouble. The first report that mentioned the drinking shows that Lexie was only 14 when she had her first drink. Another report lists that she was 14.5 when she was caught smoking weed. One letter from a foster parent shows concern that she might be doing hard drugs, but nothing in that file elaborates more on that issue.

The complaints go on and on, between drinking, drugs, partying, even influencing other of the kids negatively. There's one letter that describes in full detail how that specific foster parent was horrified to come home and find a 15 years-old Lexie teaching her 13 years-old foster sister how to give a blow job using a banana.

As I read, feelings of horror and disbelief fill me. This can't be true. These reports can't be about the same Lexie I met and fell in love with. It's like I'm reading about a different person with an identical physical description.

But the last report in her foster case file proves me wrong; when the letters Jessica has written state how proud she is of Lexie, and how happy she is that she had the chance to meet her, and live with her for a few years before she went off to college.

All reports after that are just general information that I was already aware of. I quickly flip through them until I find the one I'm looking for, and I feel my heart sink.

There in front of me, dated a little over a week after she left, is a medical report, stating that Lexie was 7 weeks pregnant.

My hands begin to shake, and I quickly flip through the rest of the papers trying to find a birth certificate or an abortion report, but I find none. Then I remember that Godric said that there's a gap he couldn't account for at such a short notice, and my mind begins to wander off to places I never imagined I would think about.

Did she get an abortion? Did she put the baby up for adoption? Her house didn't have any evidence of a child living there, a child who would almost be 4 years old.

Realizing that Lexie is the only one who could give me the answers I need, I throw the papers on the table and rise to my feet.

"Eric, what are you doing?" I hear Pam ask, but I'm too consumed by my thoughts that I don't respond. I just grab my keys and make my way to the door, only to have Alcide stand in my way.

"You're in no shape to go anywhere."

"I need to talk to her." I say, my whole body vibrating with nerves and worry. "I need to know what she did with the baby. _Our_ baby."

"I'll drive." Pam says from behind me, having taken my keys from my shaking hands.

Without saying another word, the three of us make our way down to my car. I don't know how I managed to give them the right directions, but somehow, we reach Lexie's place in record time.

As soon as the Pam parks the car, I'm out of and already half way to the building entrance when Alcide catches up with me.

"Alcide, I think I need to do this on my own." I say as I wait for the elevator to arrive.

"I'll stay out of your way." Alcide says and steps inside the elevator car as soon as the doors open. "You're too angry, Eric. I don't want you doing anything you'll regret."

"Pam?"

"She's staying in the car. No need to drag someone strange into this with Lexie."

I only nod in acceptance, fully knowing that Alcide is not only worried about me, but about Lexie as well. He saw the reports just as I did, and I'm willing to bet my right arm that he feels just as sick as I do.

It only takes us a couple of minutes to reach her apartment, and soon, I'm banging on her door.

"What the hell is going o-" she begins as she yanks the door open, but doesn't even finish her sentence when she notices Alcide and I standing at her door. "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk." I say and walk inside the apartment, not giving her a chance to protest.

"At 1 a.m.?" she asks with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Lexie…" Alcide says as he walks inside and closes the door. Lexie looks up at him, and a weak smile spreads her lips before Alcide takes her in his arms, and she quickly wraps her own arms around his neck. "God, I missed you so much, munchkin!"

"I missed you too." Lexie says before she steps out of the hug, then turns to glare at me. "What do you want to talk about now, Eric?"

I look at her for a long minute, and I'm torn by the amount of emotions flowing through me. I want to scream, and yell, and cry about the baby she took away from me, about the family she deprived me from. But I also want to hold her in my arms and tell her how sorry I am about what she had to go through.

Then I decide that for once, I just want her to be honest with me. I just need her to tell me what happened.

"What happened to the baby?" I ask, and I watch as all color drains from her face, and she quickly reaches to lean on the wall for support.

"How did you know?" she asks, and I'm barely able to hear what she says as she's trying to hold back her tears and sobs.

I let out a sigh of my own, and decide to tell her the truth, since I want her to do the same with me.

"I asked Godric to do a little digging around." I say and run my hand through my hair.

"Why?"

"Because you won't answer my questions!" I say, and for the first time, I feel my voice breaking with too much emotion. "You never answered my questions! What other options did I have?"

"And you do it now? After 4 years?" she asks, her tears betraying her and falling freely down her face. "Couldn't you have done that back then? You didn't come for me, Eric. It's like you were waiting for me to leave. You didn't come for me."

"I was afraid of what I would find!" I say, my own tears now falling. "I was terrified that you left me for someone else! I didn't know you were pregnant! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid." She says after a long minute of silence. "I was terrified my life would turn into my past."

I feel my knees go weak beneath me at what she says. Was she afraid I would turn into her father?

Have I ever given her any reason to fear me?

"How can you say that?" I finally manage to ask, not able to hide any of the pain and hurt washing through my veins. "How could you compare me to your father? What have I ever done to make you fear me?"

"You never did anything." She says and takes a deep breath that comes out in a shattered exhale. "But my father never did anything either, until my mother got pregnant."

"I don't understand." I say and watch her take a few slow steps towards the nearest chair, where she sits with a thud. I make my way to her and kneel before her, before I take her hands in mine and place a soft kiss on either one of them. "Help me understand, Lexie. Please. I'm begging you."

She looks at me, into my eyes, and a choked sob escapes her lips. Right at that second, I hear the door to her kitchen open, and just then I remember that Alcide is with us.

He must've decided to give us some privacy and go sit in the kitchen.

"My father never wanted kids." She starts talking, and I just sit there, listening to everything she has to say. She goes on and tells me everything about her parents; about how in love they were, how they were high school sweethearts, just like she and I were. She tell me about him being locked up, and going out to find a 2 years-old Lexie alive and well. She tells me about all the years of abuse; verbal and physical.

She tells me how her parents always made sure she knew how they felt about her, how much they hated her, and I'm suddenly crushed with memories of her telling me how I was the first person to ever love her.

I never imagined that I had loved her more than her parents ever did.

But even as she tells me the details of the past I wish she never experienced, I try to figure how I ever made her feel that I could be the same.

"I still don't understand." I say when I realize that she has finished talking, and now has tears soaking the front of her shirt. "What did I ever do to make you think that I would be like him?"

"You said you weren't ready." She whispers, and if I wasn't sitting so close to her, I wouldn't have heard her.

"What?" I ask, the shock evident in my voice. "When?"

"Our 6th anniversary." She says, and for a second, I struggle to remember the exact moment she is referring to, then it hits me, and I find myself moving away to sit back on the floor.

For 4 years, I have rummaged through every memory of us. I have thought back to every argument, every fight. I even struggled to remember our earliest days. All in attempts to try to understand why she left.

In the end, it comes back to one sentence that I said and never thought about again. I never thought how one sentence could affect her. How could I, when I never knew anything about her past?

"What happened to the baby?" I ask again after what seems like an eternity of silence, making her shake her head and cry harder. "Did you have an abortion? Did you put it up for adoption? What happened?"

Long minutes pass without her saying a word, and I'm actually shocked that I haven't lost my temper yet. Maybe it's because of my newfound knowledge of her past, or maybe because I have become numb with the crazy amount of information I have had to ingest in such a short amount of time.

Either ways, I kept my anger at bay, and when she looked at me with eyes that could rip out my soul, I knew that whatever her answer would be, I would never be the same man again.

"She's dead." Lexie says with a broken sob, making my breath catch in my throat. "She died just before she turned 2."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I apologize for the late update. I hope this chapter is up to your satisfaction, and holds the answers to most of your questions! **

**Chapter 12**

**Eric POV**

I was five years old when my mother died. She was killed in a car crash. I remember that she had dropped me off at my grandma's place for a playdate with my cousin, and the last thing she ever said to me was,

"_I promise I won't be late, sweetie. Be good for grandma!"_

I remember my grandmother coming to me later that day, and telling me that I got to sleepover. I was so excited because for the first time in my life, I got to do something that wasn't planned.

My cousin even got to stay over that night.

The following morning, my dad showed up, and I could tell he was upset because his eyes were red, and I knew he was wearing the same clothes from the day before because I had helped him pick up his shirt and tie.

I was worried that he was upset because I stayed over at grandma's when we didn't plan for that.

When he started crying as soon as he saw me, I ran to him, hugged his legs. I didn't know what to say because I didn't know what was going on.

Then he told me.

He said that my mother had gone to heaven.

I knew what that meant, because I could remember that a few months before that, they told me that grandpa has also gone to heaven.

I remember asking him if mommy went to heaven to be with grandpa because he was lonely. He never answered me. He just held me and cried.

I remember standing in a green field, with a black box in front of me. My father told me that I could tell the black box good bye, because mom was sleeping inside of it.

I asked if I could open it and see her one last time. He didn't answer me. He just held me again and cried some more.

For months after that, all I remember is sadness, and tears. When I asked my dad why I was so sad, he said it was because I missed my mom, because I knew I wasn't going to see her again.

As time went by, I began understand that even though I was only 5 years old, I mourned my dead mother.

But I had known her. I had spent time with her. We shared laughs and smiles as much as we shared tears and cries.

Now, as I sit on the floor watching Lexie's whole body shaking with uncontrollable sobs, I can't help but wonder.

How can I mourn someone I never knew existed?

How can I feel gutted at losing a child I never knew I had?

I sit in my place, my body having gone limp, and my mind going on a rollercoaster ride of questions.

What happened to her?

How did she die?

Was she sick?

Did someone hurt her?

"She was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor when she was 6 months old." I hear Lexie say, as if she read my mind, and for the life of me, I don't know how much time had passed since she told me that my daughter was dead.

_My daughter._

"The doctor said that she wouldn't live to see her first birthday." Lexie says, and I see her wipe away her tears. "But she was such a little warrior. She fought, and fought, until she couldn't fight anymore. She died 3 months before her 2 birthday."

"What was her name?" I choke out, my voice coming out in a hoarse whisper.

"Olivia." Lexie says, making my head snap up. "I named her Olivia Alice."

I don't know what to say to that. I can't help but make the connection, but I don't want to let myself hope too much.

Hope that she, in fact, didn't want to leave, but was too traumatized to stay.

Our first class together back in high school was English, and we were studying Shakespeare's _Twelfth Night_. I remember us talking for hours on end, discussing the play and the characters.

I clearly remember telling her that Olivia was my favorite.

I don't know how long I sit on the floor with my head resting on my knees. I can hear Lexie's faint cries, but I can't bring myself to look at her.

I simply can't bring myself to lift up my head.

My mind is swirling with all the information I learned, and I still haven't learned how Russell Edgington falls into the picture.

Do I still want to know the answer to that? Yes, of course.

Do I want to know the answer now? _NO!_

"I'm sorry, Eric." I hear her say, her voice faint against the fog that has filled my brain, and I don't even register that she's apologizing.

Isn't that what I've wanted since I saw her earlier in the week?

I finally manage to look up at her, only to find her shoulders shaking with open sobs, and I can't stop myself from literally crawling to her on my knees, before I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my lap.

I feel her thin arms wrap around me and hold me in a death grip, and I allow myself to let go. Time suddenly became an abstract matter as I sit there on her floor, with her in my arms, and both of us crying.

She keeps saying how sorry she is between broken sobs, and I just smooth my hand over her hair. I can't bring myself to say _"it's ok"_ or _"apology accepted"_, but I can't stop her from apologizing either.

Hours later, or maybe it's only been minutes, I feel her breathing calm, and when I look down at her, I find that she has fallen asleep in my arms. Slowly, I rise to my feet, careful not to wake her, and I make my way to her bedroom.

I plan to just lay her down there and go home, but as she keeps her arms around my neck, as if afraid to let me go, I feel my heart miss a beat. I carefully detach her arms from around my neck, only long enough to remove my shoes, and I quickly lay down beside her.

As if one of us is a magnet and the other is a metal, we're drawn to each other. I let out a sigh as she snuggles against me, resting her head on the one spot it always occupied, and I wrap my arms around her, almost protectively.

The vaguely remember thinking of Alcide as sleep claimed me.

I wake up to a pounding headache, and I'm momentarily confused by my unfamiliar surroundings.

Then the events of the night before crash into my head, and I quickly reach for the spot Lexie occupied next to me, only to find it empty.

_No, no, no, no! Not again!_

I'm filled with panic as I jump out of bed and make my way out of the room, only to be filled with sudden relief as I find her standing in the kitchen, absentmindedly sipping on a cup of coffee.

I feel my breath catch in my throat at her sight, and I'm suddenly thrown back in time to the days where this was the norm for us.

Me waking up a bit later than her, and her having prepared coffee does and already halfway through her first cup.

"Good morning." I say without moving from my spot, making her look up at me. The smile she gives me reminds me of those exact moments, and I feel my heart get heavy with the emotions I still clearly carry for her.

I smile as I hesitantly walk towards her, only to pick up my step as she offers me a steaming cup of coffee.

"Where's Alcide?" I ask as I take a seat by the kitchen table when I notice that my best friend is nowhere to be seen.

"I sent him home." She says, her voice obviously rasp from all the crying she did the night before. "I found him on my couch this morning. I don't think he got much sleep last night."

"Yeah." I say and take a sip of my coffee. "He was worried about the both of us."

I notice an unfamiliar emotion flash across Lexie's face, and she opens her mouth to say something, but apparently decides to stay quiet as she gently shakes her head.

"What time do you need to be at work?" she asks and looks at her cup.

"I don't have to be at the office today." I say, glad to having had the foresight to call in for a personal day before meeting Godric the day before. "What about you?"

"I need to be at the club at 8." She says, and I can't help but go stiff at her words. The caveman in me wants to lock her in her apartment, or more preferably mine, but the rational man in me knows that I don't have a claim on her anymore. "Would you like some breakfast?"

I shake my head, silently telling her that I still don't have breakfast so early in the morning, and she smiles, silently telling me that neither does she.

Our eyes lock for a long moment, and I find myself wanting to claim her as mine again.

Yesterday had been a day of discoveries. From learning about her past, to finding out I once had a daughter. From her telling me that she still loves me, to me realizing that I never stopped loving her.

"Me too, by the way." I find myself saying, making her give me a confused look. "I still love you, too." I say, answering her unspoken question, making her face suddenly flush red.

"How can you still love me after everything you found out last night?" she asks after a moment of silence, and I can only shrug at her question, because I honestly don't have an answer to that.

Yesterday, I hated her for leaving me, but that was before I had discovered why she had left. Despite my havocking emotions since I saw her earlier in the week, I know understand where she came from.

Does her past excuse her leaving me the way she did, and getting us to where we are now? It sure doesn't, but it sure explains it.

"I still have more questions." I say, and I watch her silently nod at me. "Are you going to give me the answers I need?"

I hear her let out a long sigh as she shuts her eyes close, and when she opens them, I see something that I haven't seen before.

Resignation.

Surrender.

Defeat.

"Yes." She answers and moves to sit in front of me and before either of us realizes what is going on, our hands meet over the table, and our fingers clasp together.

"Tell me what happened after…" I begin, and my voice suddenly breaks. I can't say the words. I can't articulate the thought of my dead daughter.

"I began drinking to numb the pain of losing her, and when that stopped working, I began doing drugs." She says with a shrug, as if that is the most obvious answer. She then takes a deep breath before she looks up to meet my eyes, and right at that second, I realize that she has resolved to tell me everything.

"Now that you know why I left, I hope that you understand that _I_ know I was wrong to do it." She says and takes another deep breath. "I never talked about my parents until I went to rehab, and Claudine, that's my therapist by the way, she really helped me to understand just how wrong I was to leave. Nevertheless, no matter how wrong I was, I still left, and there was not taking _that _back."

"I moved out of town after I had my first OBGYN appointment, and he gave me an approximate due date." She continues, and I can't help but steel myself for what I'm about to learn. "I didn't want to risk you finding me here, so I quit my job, and demanded that they don't disclose my whereabouts at the risk of being sued for breach of privacy conditions."

I can't help by smile at that. She was a lawyer's girlfriend after all.

"I found a job at my new hometown, full with benefits and a good pay. I was able to rent myself a small apartment that was simply perfect for the baby and me. I made a few friends, who never asked about where I came from or whose baby I was carrying. It was convenient, and it was what I needed. I made a life there, and focused all my energy and attention at the baby growing inside of me.

"Livy was 6.6 pounds and 20 inches when she was born. I always knew I was carrying a big baby, but seeing her, made it all more real." She says, and I see a sad smile on her face as she takes yet another deep breath. "She was the perfect child. She rarely fussed, almost too quiet. Until one day, I got a call from the office's daycare, telling me that she wouldn't stop crying, and that something was definitely wrong. She was only 6 months old when that happened."

I involuntarily squeeze her hand, silently telling her to go on, and she gives me a weak smile in return.

"I immediately took her to the hospital, and after many tests and x-rays, they told me what I never thought would be possible for someone her age. She had an inoperable brain tumor, one that she was probably born with and had developed over the months. I took her to many doctors, had her seen by different specialists, but they all confirmed what the hospital told me. They all said that she won't live long enough to see her first birthday, but when she did, I made the fatal mistake of hoping for too much." She says and lets out a ragged breath.

"When I look back at things now, it almost feels like a bad dream that I made up in my mind." She says with a long sigh. "It all happened so fast. I really can't tell you the details of how things happened; all I know is that for the last two weeks of her life, both of us were living in the hospital. I vaguely remember a doctor telling me that it was time, but I clearly remember holding her in my arms for what seemed like hours until she took her last breath."

"You don't…"

"I actually do." She cuts me off, and it's her turn to squeeze my hand. "You need to know what happened. I was selfish and a coward for doing what I did. What I feel right now fails in comparison to what you must feel, and you have the right to know everything."

Is this her way of punishing herself?

Well, I'd rather have that over her trying to find repent at the bottom of a bottle.

"It was downhill from there for me. The first time I really got drunk in an attempt to forget everything around me was the day of her funeral. I can't tell you anything about that day if my life depended on it. I don't even remember what color her coffin was." She says and wipes away the traitorous tear that escaped her eye. "I don't think a day passed after that without me having a drink or five, and when alcohol failed to numb me anymore, I began taking drugs, and I'm not talking weed here."

I only nodded at her, trying hard not to imagine her in such a frail and desperate state. Is that how she ended up being a stripper?

"Somewhere along the line I lost my job and got evicted from my apartment. I think it was around that same time that Russell found me." She says, and my whole body stiffens at the mention of his name.

"How does he fit into all this?" I ask, and she doesn't miss the fact that I don't ask just _who_ Russell is.

"He found me in a dark alley. I was inches away from dying. I think that was the closest I ever got to over-dosing." She says, and my whole body shudders at the thought. "He's the one who put me in rehab and got me all cleaned up…"

I sit frozen in my place as she tells me how she became to work for Russell, how he 'saved' her, how he gave her a job and a home, how he helped her out, and I can't help but wonder what his ulterior motive is.

"When he suggested I work here, I was hesitant because I was afraid I would somehow run into you." She says and her eyes now fall at our joined hand. "The plan was for me to stay here for a few months, to learn the trade so to speak, and then move to another club of his in a different city. He never questioned my desire to move, and when Bill told me that you didn't want to talk to me or see me, I decided that I might as well just stay here. Russell never questioned why I decided to stay either."

I sit back in my place and watch her closely, the lawyer in my coming to the surface. I still have many questions to ask, but only one is the most important now, because her answer would determine how, and where, we would go from here.

"Lexie?" I ask, making her look at me with eyes bright with tears. "Do you know who Russell Edgington is?"

"I just know that he's a rich guy with different businesses across the country." She says with a shrug. "I know he owns many strip clubs and night clubs, as well as casinos."

"That's true, but that's not all."

"What more is there to it?"

I take in a deep breath before I begin to tell her what I can about Russell Edgington, how he's been linked to different drugs and arms mafias, how he's been suspected of running different human trafficking plots, and how his casinos are thought to be the capital of money laundering.

Lexie pulls her hand away from me and moves to stand up while I'm talking, but I keep a close eye on her as she begins to pace the kitchen floor with every new piece of information she learns.

Suddenly, she stops dead in her track, before all color drains from her face, and I barely manage to jump from my place and wrap my arms around her before her now unconscious body hits the floor.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: *down on my knees begging forgiveness for the delay in updates***

**I'm so very tremendously profoundly sorry, but my muse had suddenly decided to go on vacation. Now that she's back, hopefully updates will go back to be more regular. **

**I also wanted to say thank you for those who are taking the time to read and review! For those of you who haven't read it yet, please take some time to read my one-shot **_**Blissful Encounter**_**, and feel free to let me know what you think of it, and if you would like to see more of that storyline. **

**Chapter 13**

**Lexie POV**

"Lexie, baby, open your eyes." I hear Eric's voice, which sounds distant, as I struggle to open my eyes.

_Why_ does it sound so distant?

A groan leaves my lips as my eyelids begin to flutter, and it takes me a moment for my vision to clear, only to come face to face with a very worried looking Eric.

I dart my eyes across the room, and I'm momentarily confused as to why I'm on my kitchen floor before I remember what happened.

I had fainted after Eric so gently informed me that the person I work for, the person who had saved my life, was a criminal.

A very dangerous criminal!

"Thank God!" Eric sighs as he pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around me. "Don't you dare scare me like that again."

"Sorry." I mumble against his chest and try to move to a sitting position, but he won't let go of me. "Eric, I need to get up."

Eric lets out a sigh as he reluctantly lets go of me, but he still helps me to my feet before I slowly make my way to the nearest chair. The two of us sit in silence for a few minutes while I try to wrap my mind about what he had just told me.

_Shit, fucking shit!_

"So, what you're saying is," I begin and take a deep breath. "I'm working for a criminal master mind that everyone's been trying to capture for God knows how long."

"Yes." Eric says and reaches to hold my hand. I let him lace his fingers with mine as silence engulfs us again, and I try to match what Eric told me about Russell with what I've gotten to know over the past months.

After what seems like forever of doing nothing but look at our joined hands, I raise to my feet, slowly just to test for any lingering dizziness. When I find none, I walk to the coffee pot still warming at the maker, and pour myself another cup.

Realizing that I need to address one issue at a time, I decide to tackle the most obvious issue.

"What now?" I ask as I take a deep breath and let it out in a sigh.

"Personally, I'd prefer if you quit your job. It'll be much safer for you…" he begins but I quickly cut him off.

"I can't quit my job." I say, and I can see him visibly stiffen.

"Why not?"

"Because my contract doesn't end for another 18 months." I say, receiving a questioning look from him.

"Strippers don't have contract." He says, and the confidence in his voice makes me raise an eyebrow at him, making him respond with a quick "you don't want to know."

"They usually don't, but I do." I say letting out another sigh, suddenly regretting the decision I made when I first started my job. "I insisted on it."

"Why the hell would you do that?" Eric asks, his voice raising a tone or two, and before he jumps to the assumption that I enjoy what I do, I start explaining.

"I don't accept charity from anyone, Eric. You of all people know that. When I got out of rehab, I asked Russell how much it had cost him to get me straightened up and back in shape. I took the job as a way to pay back the money he spent on me. I made a deal with him, some sort of monthly payment in return for rehab expenses and this apartment."

"He got you this apartment?" Eric asks and raises his eyebrow at me again, making me let out another sigh.

"Eric, I'm Russell's 'favorite' girl." I say, using air-quotes to emphasis my point. "I lived with two other girls when I first started, but their jealousy had me seeking out another place to stay at, so Russell said I could stay here."

"Why?"

"He said it would be better for the club if I were most comfortable before coming in each night."

"Why are you his favorite girl?" He asks, and I shrug at that, not knowing the answer myself. "So he treats you better than the other girls?"

"I have my own changing room at the club. I'm the main act, which means that I only give lap dances by special requests." I say, giving him a pointed look. "I'm the one with the VIP customers."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say that you're not the only one who's willing to pay a 1000$ for one of my lap dances." I say and suddenly find my coffee cup interesting.

"If that's the case, then why do you still have that long before you finish your contract?" he asks, and I realize by his direct questions that the person sitting in front of me is Lawyer Eric.

"I've been to rehab more than once." I say, ashamed to look at him. "Three times to be exact. It was his suggestion each time I relapsed to go back and spend a week there, and not just settle for AA meetings. And like I said, I pay him rent for this place. He also pays for my therapy. Plus, there are a few medical bills that he paid for."

"Medical bills for what?" He asks, and I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's trying hard not to seem worried about what had happened.

"A customer got a bit too frisky one night, and he was thrown out by security." I say and close my eyes as I try to shut the memory away. "Long story short, he didn't like that, and I ended up in the hospital for a couple of nights with a mild concussion and a couple of broken ribs."

"Jesus fuckin' Christ!" Eric gasps and runs his hands through his hair. I can tell that he doesn't like any of what he's hearing, but I did promise him to answer all the questions he has.

"It's an occupational hazard, Eric." I say, knowing that my words won't make him feel any better. "I knew that before I signed that contract."

"And you still signed it." He stated rather than asked, and I couldn't help but shrug.

"I'll give you the money to pay back what you owe him." He says after a minute or two, and I feel my jaw hit the floor at the finality in his tone.

"No." I finally say when I get over my shock but don't elaborate more.

"Yes. You need to leave that job, Lexie. Russell is a dangerous man. You can never know what he could drag you into."

"I've been there for some time, Eric! I would know if he was any danger to me." I snap at him and put my cup forcefully on the table that the now cold coffee sloshes at the side. "I just told you that I don't accept charity from anyone. That includes you!"

"I'm not giving you a charity, Lexie! I'm trying to save your life here!"

"And how the hell am I supposed to pay you back, huh?"

"I don't want you to pay me back!"

"I'm not going to take your pity money!"

"Ok fine!" He snaps and rises to his feet. "You'll pay me back when you find another job!"

"Ok Mr. I've-got-a-solution-for-everything, say I _do_ find another job, where am I supposed to live until then? _How_ am I supposed to live until then?"

"You'll stay with me, and I'll help you find a job quickly. I'll help you out until then." He says with smug look on his face that disappears quickly when he sees the frown on mine.

"No. Just, no." I say and walk out of the kitchen, and I hear him closely behind me.

"Why the hell not?"

"I'm not staying with you, Eric." I say and move the cushions on the couch that Alcide slept on the night before.

"Why not?" he asks again.

"We can't just pick up where we left off 4 years ago!" I snap and drop the cushion I'm holding. "We're not the same people anymore, Eric! Don't expect me to believe that you've forgiven me overnight!"

"I didn't!" he snaps back and even though I know what he says is true, I still feel hurt by his admission. "I don't want us to pick up where we left off, Lexie, but I also don't want to lose you again! Russell is a dangerous man, and if living with me will keep you safe, then so be it!"

"He hasn't been anything but helpful to me!"

"I don't know what he's planning to do, but Russell Edgington doesn't do good just for the sake of it!"

"Well, until he shows me his true colors, I'm keeping my job!"

"Can't you for once stop being so fucking stubborn and look at the bigger picture here?" he yells and takes a couple of steps towards me. "Girls have disappeared from Russell's clubs! They just drop off the face of the earth! He deals with sex trafficking, Lexie! What if someone offers him a huge amount of money for you? Are you willing to take that chance? Are you willing to wake up one day and find yourself a sex slave in God-knows-where?"

Hearing that knocks the wind out of my lungs, and I immediately sit on the coffee table. I see Eric move to sit in front of me, and he quickly takes my shaking hands into his.

"Lexie, I'm not trying to simply scare you here so you quit your job. Believe me, Russell is one of the most dangerous men out there, and I don't want to even think about the reason why he treats you the way he does. All I know is that you should stay away from him and anything related to him as far as you can."

I take a deep breath to calm myself down and try to think clearly. If Eric is right, and most probably he is, I do need to stay away, but I can't just quit just like that the way Eric wants me to.

"What if he suspects something?" I ask, finally raising my head to look up at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what if Russell suspects something? I've always been adamant about paying him back, and he pretty much knows everything about my current life. He's going to question where the money came from, and he'll eventually find out about you." I say, and the idea of Eric being in any kind of danger makes my hands shake again.

"Shit, I didn't think of that." He says with a sigh, and I can't help but try a breathing exercise to calm myself.

It wasn't working.

Suddenly, an idea hits me, and I look at Eric with hope in my eyes.

"What if I help you out?" I ask, and he gives me a look full of confusion. "What if I can find anything that would incriminate him?"

"No, no, no!" He says with a strong shake of his head. "I'm trying to keep you away from him, not deeper into his shit. It's too dangerous."

"And it'll be just as dangerous if I quit out of the blue like that." I say, my voice taking a more scared tone. "The best I can do is talk to him and tell him that this isn't working for me anymore, and that I'm looking for another job. That way, when I quit, it won't be such a surprise."

"When can you do that?" Eric asks after a minute of pondering over what I said.

"He'll be back in town next week." I say and run my hand through my hair after detaching it from Eric's strong grasp. "I can talk to him then, but I'll need a couple of weeks before I actually quit. He won't believe I stumbled over a job so quickly. We also need to figure out what to tell him about the money; where it came from, I mean."

"Inheritance?" Eric asks with a small shrug. Even _he_ knows that's a lame explanation.

"He knows I don't have any family." I say and sigh yet again.

Damn, why did I have to be so trusting towards Russell?

Fuck! I really need a drink.

"Are you ok?" He asks after a moment, as if reading my mind. "I mean, is this too much for you to handle?"

"I will be." I say, shaking my head, as if to dissipate the cravings from my head. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly a few times, and a few minutes later, I feel myself calming down, and a small smile draws on my lips. "All good."

"You sure?" Eric asks, his brow still knit in worry.

"Yes." I say with a small nod. I glance at the clock and find the time approaching noon, and as if on cue, both of our stomachs grumble loudly, making us smile.

"I should make us something to eat." I say and move to stand up, but Eric grabs my arm to stop me.

"How about I take you out?" he asks, and I can't help but smile at the sweet one adorning his face.

"I'd like that." I say after a few seconds of just smiling at him. "Let me just grab a shower quickly and we'll head out, ok?"

"Can I join you?" he asks with a leer, making me laugh and smack his arm before heading towards my bedroom. Halfway there, I pause, and I push all question of what should and should not happen between us to the back of my head.

Right now, Eric was back in my life, for however long he decides to.

I might as well enjoy it while it last.

So, I just turn around and look at him with a small smile.

"Coming?"

The way his eyes quickly darken with lust should've been alarming, but to me, that only works to fuel the sudden desire that washes over me like a tidal wave, and when he stands to his full height, I find myself frozen in my spot as I watch him take slow steps towards me.

No words are needed as he stands in front of me, and for long seconds, we just stare into each other's eyes. Next thing I know, he has his fingers curled in my hair, and his lips on mine in a soft, yet passionate kiss.

I literally feel my knees go week, and I have to grab on to his t-shirt to keep myself from falling. Suddenly, my feet are no longer touching the floor as he lifts me up, and I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I can sense us moving, but at that moment, I don't care if he's taking me to the bedroom, bathroom, or out to the hallway.

Our lips don't part even as he lowers me on the soft mattress of my bed, and as his hand moves under my t-shirt, I move mine under his, and I run my nails against his defined abs, making him let out a groan.

"We'll shower later." He says when he pulls away from the kiss only long enough to pull his t-shirt off, and I can't help but nod as I lick my lips.

I want him. I want _all_ of him. So I sit up and move to the side before I motion for him to come and sit beside me. When he does, I get off the bed and stand in front of him. I run my fingers gently through his hair, and then I pull him in for a soft kiss before I move my lips down his neck.

As I kiss my way from his neck down to his chest, I palm the bulge straining against the front of his pants and squeeze gently, making him give out a loud moan. I move my hands to unbutton his pants, and silently curse his button fly as it delays me from feeling him between my fingers. I flicker my tongue against his nipple, and can't help but smile against his flesh when I finally free him from the constraints of his pants and wrap my fingers around him.

Another loud moan escapes his lips as I begin to stroke his hard shaft, and as much as I would love to pay homage to his sculptured chest, I move with my lips lower until I reach the magnificence that is his erection, and I let out a small sigh of appreciation.

I don't give him space to say anything, and I quickly wrap my lips around his tip. I feel his hips buckle as I take him deeper into my mouth, and soon his fingers weave into my hair as he guides my head up and down his shaft.

A few minutes pass with me switching between sucking, licking, and kissing him, and I can tell by the tension in his thighs that he's approaching his release; making me palm his sack and fondle it slowly before I dart my eyes up at him. He has his head thrown back and his eyes closed, but when I take him deeper into my mouth and swallow him down my throat, his eyes snap open and he lets out a loud groan.

"Jesus, fuck!" he swears as I deep-throat him, and I feel his fingers tightening their hold on my hair. "Baby, I'm gonna cum." he warns after a few seconds of my continuous ministrations, making me speed up my rhythm, and as soon as he hits the back of my throat again, I feel his whole body shudder with his release.

"Come here." Eric says as he pulls me to my feet before he lays back on the bed with me on top of him. He tucks a few strands of hair behind my ear and then places a soft kiss on my lips before pulling back and looking into my eyes. "That was amazing."

"We aim to please, Mr. Northman." I say as I trail my fingers across his chest. The smile that suddenly splits his lips should've warned me that he's up to no good, but that doesn't stop the yelp from escaping my throat as he quickly flips us over and covers my mouth with his.

Any coherent thought I might have had disappears as soon as he begins to trail wet kisses down my throat, and when he reaches that spot at the base of my neck, I feel my whole body shiver when he sucks gently on it.

My hand finds its way to his head, and I feel the silk of his hear weave between my fingers as he continues his assault on my neck, but a whimper escapes from me when I don't feel his lips on my skin, only to realize that he pulled away just long enough to pull my t-shirt off.

"God, you're beautiful." He whispers as he admires me with his eyes before his hand rests on the swell of my breast, and I can't help but throw my head back and close my eyes as the sensation that one touch brings me.

My whole body feels on fire as Eric's lips latch to one of my hardened nipples, and I can barely recognize the voice that leaves me as his hands slips under the waistband of my sweats and his fingers brunch against my moist folds. My back arches as he sinks one, then two, fingers inside me, all while keeping his other hand on my left breast and his lips on my right.

For long minutes, he tortures me with his fingers and lips, alternating between a quick and a slow pace, and brushing his thumb over my nub between the thrusts of his hand.

I barely register that his lips are no longer on my breast as the all too familiar tingling begins to gather at the pit of my stomach. I feel his breath against my ear before he gently takes my lobe between his teeth and gives it a soft bite, and when his husky voice commands me to let go just as he curls his fingers and brushes against _that_ spot, I have no choice but to oblige, and I see fireworks erupt behind my closed eyelids.

My chest is heaving as I try to catch my breath after the wonderful orgasm he just gave me, but something tells me that I won't be able to have a single minute to rest as he kisses his way from my neck all the way down to the edge of my pants. Then, as he begins to pull them off, along with my drenched underwear, he kisses his way down to my ankles.

I can feel his lips and fingers on every inch of my skin, and his name falls off my lips in a loud moan when his tongue darts and licks me. I can feel his own moans vibrating against my sensitive skins as he continuous his ministrations with his torturous tongue, and it doesn't take him long to bring me back to brink of another orgasm. As he feels me nearing that glorious edge, he pulls his face away, and before I can voice my disappointment, he sinks himself inside me, pushing me to my climax with a scream.

"Look at me." He says, and as I open my eyes, I realize that he hasn't moved from his spot above me. The amount of emotions I see in his blue orbs threaten to overwhelm me, and I lift my head to kiss him to stop the tears that gathered in the back of my eyes from spilling out.

I feel him slide out of me slowly as our tongues battle for dominance in a heated kiss, but he doesn't pick up the pace to mirror the urgency we both feel. The need to breath eventually forces us to end our kiss, but his lips quickly find their way to my neck as I wrap my arms around him, needing to feel him close; _closer._

For what seems like hours, he keeps a slow pace, making love to me rather than simply fucking me like he had done the day before. He murmurs words of affection into my ear, and I find that I can't stop the tears from flowing. It almost feels as if the horrors of the past years never happened; as if I had never left, that I had never broke his heart and mine, but I had, and I feel my heart break more with every thrust of his hips.

"I'm sorry." I say as I nuzzle my head into his neck. "I'm so sorry, Eric."

"Sshh…" he soothes me as he pulls his head up to look at me. He runs his fingers over my cheeks, wiping away my tears in the process, before he places soft kisses at the corners of my eyes, all the while keeping the gentle pace of his love making. "It'll be ok, baby. I promise."

"Please, Eric." I find myself begging without even knowing what I was begging for.

"Tell me what you want."

"You." I say as my breath hitches up, feeling my release closing in on me. "I _need_ you."

"You have me." He whispers as he swirls his hips, making mine buck up against him. "You'll always have me."

No more words are said as he continues his delicious torture of my body, and soon, both of us are clutching to each other as waves of pleasure wash over us.

For long minutes we just lay there, not uttering a single word as we let the pleasure consume us, but suddenly, I feel Eric's body stiffen against mine, making me look up at him with a questioning look.

"What's wrong?"

"I…" He begins then closes his eyes as he lets out a long breath. "You beguile me, woman! I totally forgot about protection."

I let out a sigh of my own, not worried about the lack of protection in our passion, but for having to bring up my job in a moment that I didn't want to ruin.

"You don't need to worry. I already told you that I haven't been with anyone since you, and I'm on the pill." I say, receiving a frown from him.

"I'm clean, so you don't need to worry either, but why would you be on the pill if you haven't been with anyone?" he asks, and I can feel his skepticism in his words.

"_Management_ insists that all girls are on birth control." I say and move to sit up; knowing that whatever moment we had was now completely ruined.

"So, you're saying that Russell doesn't know that you haven't been with anyone all this time." He states rather than asks as he sits up in bed as well, but then pulls me to him so that I'm resting my head on his chest.

"No, I don't think he does." I say and a hint of confusion clouds my head. _He doesn't, does he?_

"That's good." Eric says before he places a soft kiss on the top of my head. "It's better that he doesn't have all the details about your life now."

"Yeah, I guess so."

We stay like that for another few minutes, before I feel Eric sigh again, and I can tell that he wants to say something, but that's something's holding him back.

"Just say whatever is on your mind, Eric." I say, making him let out a small chuckle.

"You still know me well, don't you?" He asks, and my body involuntarily stiffens as I'm reminded of the past 4 years. "Hey, relax." He says, having felt the change in my posture. "I told you, Lexie. You have me. You will always have me."

"What about –" I begin, but he cuts me off as he holds my chin and makes me look up at him.

"I'm not letting go of what happened. We will deal with that, but right now, my priority is keeping you safe and away from Edgington. Once that's behind our backs, we will deal with everything else."

"Can we do that?" I ask, not allowing myself to feel any hope that he really wanted to be with me.

"We _have_ to do that, because I'm not going to let you go again. I'm not saying that I'm not hurt by what you did, because I am, and it will take me some time to get over it, but I can't do anything to change it." He says as he runs his fingers through my hair, and I feel my heart skip a beat at his words. "Both of us will have to work hard to be able to work things out. That's of course, if you want to."

My voice betrays me as tears escape my eyes, and I only manage to nod at him, making him smile softly at me before he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him.

As I let my tears fall on his bare chest, I realize, for the first time in years, that things will eventually be OK.


End file.
